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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25799659">Summers Evenings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillyKaplan666/pseuds/BillyKaplan666'>BillyKaplan666</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel (Comics), Young Avengers (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gay, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marvel Universe, Romance, Very gay and angsty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:12:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25799659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillyKaplan666/pseuds/BillyKaplan666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Teddy Altman’s Senior Year has been shit lately but after starting a friendship with Billy Kaplan he finds himself trying to understand himself and his feelings more clearly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Teddy Altman/Billy Kaplan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Stumbling Is A Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Tumblr - billykaplan-666</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The early April of New York could always be characterized by slight chills nipping at any and all pieces of skin you left exposed. </p><p>It was a time when Noreasters and blizzards had stopped moving in but still there held no sign of crisp, fresh morning dew and temperatures that didn’t lend to winter coats. </p><p>Teddy felt that deep yearning for the clouds to sweep out of the way and let the sun flood in and carry away any ice or slush that was left to plague his worn converse as he rushed to school. The subway had been running later than the usual fifteen minutes or so and with his luck he expected to miss the homeroom bell but he still hadn’t given up. His legs moved swiftly in long strides, often uneasy as he dodged puddles of water that could soak up into his socks or on the bottoms of his jean legs. </p><p>Amusing him more than anything else was that his mind had placed him having cold damp feet for the next eight hours over the thought of slipping and being knocked unconscious. He guessed that possibly he did have his priorities straight, being plagued with wet mucky socks and shoes could be classified as worse than death or grave injury. </p><p>Three more blocks left and his phone buzzed in the pocket of his cream, newly thrifted trench coat and his mind immediately had no other thought than checking his phone and by the time he shook away his thoughts he realized only one block was left. </p><p>As soon as the tall, burnt orange bricked building came into view when he rounded the corner he let out a beleaguered sigh and pulled out his phone, flipping it open and opening his mailbox. Flashed on the screen was a text from Cassie that only read “WHERE ARE YOU?”.</p><p>The small smile bubbled underneath his straight face and he let it show a little as he walked into the large, intimidatingly cold building. Rushing to Cassie's locker he wrestled with the scarf that he had tied intricately while begrudgingly waiting for the subway to finally arrive.</p><p>“You know if you were late for homeroom literally nothing would’ve happened. I’m the one that would’ve been hit with a slip. ” Cassie said, pulling folders out of her locker as he wrapped his scarf into a ball.  </p><p>Cassie had sat next to him during the first day of his Sophomore year level two photography class, and hadn’t said more than hello until they had their first collaborative project together. Cassie held an unusual obsession with getting the oddest angles and shots in her photos and that left for immense fun as they ran through the streets capturing anything that caught their eye. Cassie climbed fire exits, statues, and trash cans to get what she called her best work and it had paid off when she won an award later that year, being the first freshman in the area to win a student award for artistic expression and influence. </p><p>Overall having Cassie by his side probably saved him from abandoning a lot of his aspirations and pieces of himself, she was always there and would be but leaving the consistent environment that they had next year left him with a pit in his stomach whenever it crossed his mind</p><p>“Teddy, don’t zone out on me now. We still have to make it to your locker.” Cassie said with a satisfied grin. </p><p>Silence hung between them but it wasn’t comfortable like normal, it hadn’t been for the last few months.</p><p>“How’s your mom doing, I miss Maggie.” He said hesitantly, Cassie’s relationship with her mother had been volatile since November when her father had passed away.</p><p>“Ugh, she has a date this weekend. I didn’t want to know anymore than that so you can ask her yourself.” Her voice was quieter than before, essentially more raw.</p><p>“Hey if he’s old you can probably count on him being rich, then you’ll be all set for college.”</p><p>“Someone is really obsessed with college, aren’t they?” she said.</p><p>“Oh, shut the hell up.” Teddy rolled his eyes fakely as he messed with the lock on his locker.</p><p>He threw the long felt creme coat into his locker, then his scarf, followed by his blue beanie his mom had given him for Christmas. He thought a moment before shoving his bag in with the same disregard he had with the rest of his things trying to recall if anything he wouldn’t want smashed was hidden inside before tossing it in carelessly. </p><p>“Well it’s time for me to go before Pates murders me for being ‘late’. I’ll see you at lunch.” She said punching him in the shoulder before walking off.</p><p>Following the bends in the halls as he had memorized them was the easiest part of the day and like clockwork he turned and rounded bends and opened the door of homeroom. His seat in the far back near the window that overlooked the chaos of the street was empty as always and once he sat he noticed that traffic still hadn’t stopped.</p><p>The first of three homeroom bells rang over the aging speakers above him, the next would come in five minutes to signal roll call and the one after would signal anyone outside was tardy. </p><p>Greg stepped in moments before the next bell and like always Teddy's eyes flew to the window and his heart picked up to a rampant pace, breath caught in his throat as he felt the wave hit him as it always did. Losing Greg at the beginning of the year changed all of his projected trajectories. He lost anyone connected to Greg, any involvement in basketball, and any sort of social status. </p><p>He got his heart to slow, and his mind to stop rushing, he felt the world return to what it was like before. Eyes still rested on their place out the window but finally he felt like he was seeing what was outside again. </p><p>Thankfully the traffic still rushed and everything still felt the same as earlier, only now Greg’s presence rang in the back of his mind persistently.</p><p>The announcements droned on minutes later, prom dates had been announced, the girls tennis team was holding auditions, and this year's play ‘The Music Man’ would start shows next week. Cassie had talked a few days earlier about dragging him along to see Kate's last performance in a High School theater which was silly since from what little Kate had told him she was only a minor, still full of bitter that the larger role she wanted was given to a Sophomore who she said was quote un quote bitchy.</p><p>Complication ran through so much of what Kate talked about, she was as closed off as Teddy had become but he admired her for that. Kate chose to surround and communicate with few and she was completely comfortable with all of that but the time Teddy had spent alone only made him full of the yearn to communicate over the last seven months. </p><p>Lunch consisted of what Teddy had managed to throw into his brown bag and today it was an orange that looked a little too ripe, and a piece of pizza he had clumsily seran wrapped from the leftover dinner he and mom had ordered last night. He was about  to dig his fingers into the suspect orange when Cassie arrived.</p><p>“Kate is coming, she said Eli and Tommy ditched them for their ‘soccer bros’.” Cassie said, delicately falling into her seat.</p><p>“As long as I can still ask if I should eat this orange or not, I'm cool with that.” Teddy handed the orange over to Cassie and she took it in her hands as she brushed the fallen strand of blonde hair out of her face. Immediately Cassie’s face scrunched up and she looked at him with disgust.</p><p>“Damnit, I really wanted to eat it.” His frown deepened as he took the orange back and felt the squishy spots again.</p><p>“I'm going to, you can be disgusted as you want.” Teddy dug a nail into it and immediately he felt juice pour out of the wound he had created in its skin.</p><p>“What’s Teddy doing?” Kate looked from on and moved her gaze from him to Cass as she took her place next to Cassie, leaving the last spot near Teddy vacant.</p><p>“His orange is about four days too old but he’s going to eat it anyway.” Cass said.</p><p>Teddy had peeled most of the skin off but the last piece he had ripped off revealed a large black spot on one piece. Teddy felt the slightly angered groan leave him as he moved the orange so that Cassie and Kate could see it.</p><p>“I knew it Teddy.” Cassie said, laughing a little.</p><p>“Damnit.” He said glumly as he tossed the rotting fruit into his brown bag and gathered the skin to throw into his bag as well.</p><p>“Billy probably has an apple or something you could take, he only ever eats his sandwich.” Kate said.</p><p>“Uh, I should be good.” Teddy said.</p><p>Teddy knew almost nothing about Billy other than Greg's friend Jon Kessler had once punched him in the face and he walked through the halls with a black eye for the next month. </p><p>“He said he had to finish packing his bag up, he only has two periods then he leaves after lunch. He really has the perfect last semester of senior year.” Kate said looking up at Teddy with a smile.</p><p>“God, I wanted to be able to do that but Mrs. Lawson told me she could get me back to back time in the photography studio next year and I couldn’t say no because NYU already wants my thesis work. They said they would give me ‘til next winter to get my best work. Teddy here gets a scholarship with the first set of paintings he enters.” Cassie was clearly more angry at NYU than at him but still gave him a scowl after she finished her rant.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me you got a scholarship!” Kate said excitedly.</p><p>“I hate when they do it over the announcements so I had them pull it the only people who really know are Cass and Mrs.Terry.” Teddy said timidly.</p><p>“That’s awesome though, and their program is supposed to be really good.” Kate said, fishing a fork out of her bag.</p><p>Billy had walked up and was eyeing the seat next to him while Kate smiled at him and moved her hand flippantly in order to motion that it was okay.</p><p>“Hey.” Billy said as he sat down slowly, dropping his bag. He took out his own paper bag and started to excavate what was inside.</p><p>“Was your portfolio all paintings?” Kate asked.</p><p>“Um, it was all paintings but I did one where I used some of the photos I took with Cassie on our first project. Kind of like a collage.” His voice wavered. He hadn’t realized the anxiety that crept in until he realized how all eyes were on him.</p><p>“Yeah big softie decided to use the worst picture of me.” Cassie said in a deadpan manner as she rolled her eyes and tossed Teddy a side smirk.</p><p>“I didn't know you painted.” The timid voice beside him called for his awareness and Teddy looked over to see Billy looking up at him with bright brown eyes that Teddy felt magnetically drawn to. </p><p>“Yeah I’m uh going to NYU in the fall to start their program.” Teddy said, forcing himself to move his eyes away from Billy's vibrant stare.</p><p>“So are me and Kate.” Billy said, this time sounding even more timid like he was trying to hide in himself.</p><p>“I am too once I’m as old as you douchebags.” Cassie said, speaking through the bite of sandwich she had stuffed into her mouth. </p><p>“You should be happy we even like you considering you’re a Junior.” Kate says.</p><p>“This coming from the one who skipped a grade.” Cass retorted.</p><p>Billy chuckled and Teddy felt the grin grow on his face tenfold once he heard him.</p><p>They continued eating while Cass and Kate went back and forth, it seemed like him and Billy had been left to their own devices and clearly Cassie and Kate were watching them struggle to see who could break their little spout of silence first.</p><p>“You and Billy have a lot in common, Teddy, Cassie tells me how you’re always trying to talk to her about comics, Billy does the exact same to me.” Kate had a wide smile on her face and from the corner of his eye he could see Billy scowling at her, cheeks flushed.</p><p>“Really?” Teddy asked.</p><p>“Yeah, uh I guess The Avengers are my  favorite but Scarlet Witch is my favorite.” Billy said, clearly uncomfortable divulging what Teddy had to guess was a ‘secret’.</p><p>“I’m more of a Johnny Storm kinda guy but any member of the Magneto Family is pretty good.” Teddy said, loving that he was able to share this with someone that wasn’t Cassie or his bedroom wall.</p><p>“Come on, the X-Men aren’t that great.” </p><p>“Ouch.” Teddy said as he smiled widely.</p><p>They both went on talking of their favorite newest issues, runs, and art styles with Billy critiquing storylines and characters comically getting a laugh out of Teddy every so often. Then the lunch bell echoed and Teddy parted ways with the three.</p><p>Cassie was always late to her locker at the end of the day so Teddy stood leaning against it while he waited for her to come out of Trigonometry. Through his last two classes his mind was buzzing with thoughts of his ‘nerd out’ with Billy at lunch. </p><p>Teddy never allowed himself to ‘be interested’ in anyone ever since he made the connection that he wanted to be with guys. Longing stares aimed directly at Greg was all he had ever allowed himself and the thought of letting that personal rule go had just resurfaced. Being comfortable with himself was a whole other can of worms though, he had only told Cass and his mom who were both more encouraging than he could have dreamed, Part of him still kept echoing that he wasn’t right to be feeling what he was but the other yearned to feel that love he only ever saw in sappy romance movies him and his mom made fun of on the weekends when they would pick movies from the blockbuster down the street.</p><p>“Thanks for waiting.” Cassie said as she came toward him and he moved quickly to let her in.</p><p>He only hummed in response and stared at the contents of her locker as she pulled the door open.</p><p>“So, have fun talking nerd shit with Billy at lunch?” Cass asked.</p><p>“I guess.” He was trying to mask the great sense of joy it had actually brought him so that Cassie didn’t turn any of this into a big deal even though a piece of him wanted just that.</p><p>“You’re not even trying to hide it, you dork.” There it was, no use from running from it. </p><p>“Billy and you should totally be friends.”</p><p>“You know you can’t just force two people to get along right?” He hustled past everyone as they raced to the doors.</p><p>“No, but I can try.” Cass said smugly.</p><p>“You’re unbelievable.” </p><p>“I’ll text you his number later.” Cass said as they parted ways and she turned to walk down towards the opposite block.</p><p>“Fuck.” Teddy muttered under his breath as he stood still for a moment.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Text Obsessed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr - billykaplan-666</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His phone buzzed naggingly every few minutes as it fought for attention. Teddy was sitting at the small shaky wooden table in the kitchen of their apartment, backpack was left lonely and discarded on the couch, filled with homework that wouldn’t get done ‘til Sunday, if at all. </p>
<p>Three days since Cassie had sent him Billy's phone number and he had barely escaped her constant questioning today. He couldn’t find the courage to text him yet, couldn’t muster the strength to take that first step of the dreaded ‘first text’. He had run his mind through the situation hundreds of times in a few days, none of his opening texts ever landed well in his head.</p>
<p> Mom would arrive in less than an hour, having this time all alone with his thoughts swirling and surrounding one subject didn’t help the fact that all he yearned to do was frantically type out a sentiment to Billy lamenting about how all he wanted to do was talk to him.</p>
<p>That feeling hadn’t been a present one since he had been cut off from Greg, sure Cassie was great to talk to but she could never keep up the conversation. </p>
<p>He gave in to Cassie's continual pestering and quickly shoved his hand into his pocket to fish out his cell phone. Flipping it open he gazed over all of Cassie's texts that she had managed to send in a five minute window once she arrived home, she was fast.</p>
<p>CASSIE : Teddy, you have to text him sometime</p>
<p>CASSIE : Kate told me she talked to him, he said you were nice</p>
<p>CASSIE : You’re going to need someone to talk to up at NYU</p>
<p>CASSIE : You suckkkk :)</p>
<p>His fingers moved speedily over the buttons and he hit send impatiently as he rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>TEDDY : Why are you so annoying :)</p>
<p>CASSIE : Come on, what’s the worst that could happen to you</p>
<p>TEDDY : I don’t know, why are you and Kate gossiping about me</p>
<p>CASSIE : No one is exempt from gossip, especially not you</p>
<p>TEDDY : Stopppp</p>
<p>He shut his phone and knew Cassie wouldn’t respond to that one, he had essentially told her to fuck off. Cassie always pushed a little too far, she was enthusiastic about anything and everything especially her friends and that could always be a positive or a negative. He could never be too harsh on her though she was like a sister, albeit a pesky one.</p>
<p>Groaning softly he lowered his head onto the table, there really was nothing to be so uptight about other than the fear of allowing Billy in only to watch him push him back out. Greg hadn’t just pushed him he shoved and fought to rip Teddy apart from him, he wasn’t ready to have that happen again especially since what little he had left to lose was so important to him, what he had rebuilt was more meaningful especially since he wasn’t trying to be a carbon copy of Greg.</p>
<p>The other voice told him it was because he was flustered and scattered anytime Cassie had brought Billy up in the last few days. Closing his eyes he could still make out Billy's gaze, light brown hazel eyes that felt so invitational, ones that called to be enjoyed and pictured deep in his mind. Having a silly, flippant crush that would only linger was never something he had experienced and falling head first for someone only scared the shit out of him more. </p>
<p>He swallowed and let out a long breath and sucked in an equally deep and consuming one. The anxiety that occupied his body from the tip of his fingers to his foot, which was tapping lightly and rhythmically on the floor, slowly came to a still. He bent over the table and rested his chin on the table, he reached for the phone and opened it promptly. He sifted through Cassie's texts until he came upon Billy's number and as he did he felt the buzz of anxiety rush back. He memorized the number rapidly and typed out his next message very quickly.</p>
<p>TEDDY : Hey, it’s Teddy Cassie gave me your number a few days ago. So, just saying hi :)</p>
<p>He quickly mourned his choice of opening texts. </p>
<p>God, he could have done so much better, maybe made a joke or something about the newest Avengers trade that came out yester- . His phone buzzed, the table echoing the hollow noise. He almost snapped his phone as he opened it.</p>
<p>BILLY : Ha that is a very Cassie move, It’s Billy by the way :)</p>
<p>He smiled dorkily and knew he looked absolutely awestruck and stupid but at the moment he didn’t care.</p>
<p>TEDDY : She’s awful :) </p>
<p>TEDDY : Thank you for the fruit snacks by the way, definitely better than rotten orange</p>
<p>BILLY : I was probably going to just bring them home for the demon twins anyway, so I should be thanking you </p>
<p>TEDDY : Demon twins?</p>
<p>BILLY : My younger brothers, mom says they’re adopted from Jersey but I don't think so</p>
<p>TEDDY : Jersey isn’t hell?</p>
<p>BILLY : That was actually really good</p>
<p>TEDDY : You didn’t think I could be funny?</p>
<p>BILLY : Giant jocks normally aren’t</p>
<p>TEDDY : Ouchhhh, I prefer the label tall</p>
<p>BILLY : haha :) </p>
<p>Teddy’s brain was mush and at this point any regret he had about taking that leap of faith had subsided and he was left grinning deftly at his phone hunched over his kitchen table.</p>
<p>BILLY : So, I know you didn’t really talk about it but painting, huh?</p>
<p>TEDDY : Yeah, my mom was a painter then she went into real estate. I guess I kinda learned all I can do from her. Without her I’d still be finger painting.</p>
<p>BILLY : That’s good though, try learning skills from a therapist or a brain surgeon, the most they taught me was how to deal with my feelings</p>
<p>TEDDY : That’s important though</p>
<p>BILLY : Yes it is MOM</p>
<p>TEDDY : Fuck you</p>
<p>The door stuck in the frame and he could hear his mom struggling to shove it open, when she did it flung open quickly and hit the coat rack, knocking a scarf to the floor.</p>
<p>“You know, I think it’s time for a new apartment.” she said loudly as she slammed the door and rattled it around to get it into the right position to lock again.</p>
<p>He looked over to see her standing up and moving the disregarded scarf back into place. Her hair was still gently curled and styled, a little messier than he had seen this morning but her face looked just as vibrant,  she never really came home weary and defeated.</p>
<p>“Where should we go, up towards Midtown?” He said smiling and watching to see her smirk.</p>
<p>“Mm, where are we getting that kind of money, how about insurance fraud?”</p>
<p>“Who’s life insurance is more valuable?” He questioned jokingly as she tossed her bag towards the couch, near where his own was lying. </p>
<p>“Yours honey, you’re the one with a scholarship.” </p>
<p>“True.” He said chuckling.</p>
<p>“Look, so smug about it aren’t you.” she said.</p>
<p>Walking over she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and laid her head on his own, tussling his hair as she leaned down and assaulted him with a kiss to the forehead. He tried to move his head to look up at her but all he could see was long strands of blonde hair blocking his viewpoint. </p>
<p>“Love you.” He said.</p>
<p>“Mhm, and I love you the most.”  She let go of him and stood up, wandering over to the fridge and opening the door slowly. She began rummaging through the fruit, then the pile of half eaten chinese tupperware boxes. She gave up quickly and turned towards Teddy.</p>
<p>“So, the options are to throw together all the leftovers, or a pizza.” She said, pulling her hair back in place behind her ear.</p>
<p>“Do we have ice cream?” He asked.</p>
<p>She turned around and opened up the top freezer.</p>
<p>“Rocky Road, and Chocolate.”</p>
<p>“Pizza for sure then. We can have an X-Files night.” he said smiling.</p>
<p>“I like the way you think, I’ll call once I get into sweatpants. Do we want Johns or Lazzios?”</p>
<p>“Definitely Lazzios.”</p>
<p>She picked up the phone and walked off towards her room taking one of the menus that was laid out on the counter with her. He looked down at his phone, yearning for a new text from Billy, a fresh conversation he could envelope himself in again. </p>
<p>Three hours later they were marathoning the best of season two in their pajamas on the old, stain splattered couch that somehow still smelled brand new despite all the hell they had put it through. He was messily scooping what was left of the melting tub of rocky road into his mouth, eyes fixated on the screen which had grown brighter with the setting sun. He pulled out his phone, the episode was one he had rewatched a few times before and with that as an excuse he began to text Billy again. He was afraid though that he would somehow bother Billy very much with his frequent pestering. </p>
<p>TEDDY :  Are you undecided or did you pick a major from one of their five thousand?</p>
<p>“Aw, you can’t text Cassie now this is a good one.” Mom said nudging him lightly on the calf with her foot.</p>
<p>“I’ve watched this one too many times besides you were falling asleep anyway.”</p>
<p>“Was not.” She said quietly as she readjusted the pillow behind her head.</p>
<p>“How is Cassie anyway? She doing any better at all?” she asked.</p>
<p>“She’s definitely happier, her mom has a date tomorrow.” He said, closing his phone. It was clear that Billy was probably too busy  to text back.</p>
<p>“Damnit, her moms doing better than me already?” She said holding back a yawn.</p>
<p>“I think you’d have to be trying for her to be doing better than you.” He smiled over at her as she scowled at him.</p>
<p>“Having one man in my life is enough for me, I can’t handle having to watch another, besides you’re already such a handful.” she said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, right.” he said.</p>
<p>“Listen, I’m always open to having another man right now but you’d have to be the one to bring him.” she said with a wink.</p>
<p>“God, you’re awful.” he said, rolling his eyes and forcing any lingering thought of Greg or Billy to the far back of his mind.</p>
<p>“Aw, no love yet for my Teddy bear?” she asked.</p>
<p>“No more talking I need to watch this episode.”</p>
<p>“Come on Teddy bear all those books I read told me to talk to you.” She said jokingly.</p>
<p>“Mhm, did they also tell you not to get a boyfriend.” He laughed.</p>
<p>“Aw, so mean.” She laughed before getting up slowly and carefully. </p>
<p>She picked up her empty bowl of chocolate and her discarded pizza plate and walked over to clean up the little mess Teddy had left sprawled on the coffee table. </p>
<p>“I’m heading off, you have fun. Goodnight.” She said as she shoved everything into the trash can.</p>
<p>“Love you the most.” He said quietly as he took advantage of the empty space and sprawled out on the couch, stretching his arms and legs.</p>
<p>“Love you forever baby.” She said quietly before she shut the door to her bedroom.</p>
<p>He felt himself drift off a little while after she left, when he woke up it was pitch black and he let out a huff before wandering through darkness into his bedroom.</p>
<p>Waking up to the sunlight blinding him through his window made his head throb as he slowly moved his hands out of his covers to bring them up and hide his eyes. His mind immediately flashed to his phone and he clumsily reached for his nightstand where he had discarded it last night. </p>
<p>BILLY : I’m all set to be an english major so if you want an essay full of pretentious wordiness I’m your guy.</p>
<p>Teddy realized Billy had sent that last night, probably after he had passed out on the sofa.</p>
<p>TEDDY : I have a mythology final coming up soooo… haha</p>
<p>He threw his phone back down on the bed and willed himself to get up and get ready.</p>
<p>Billy and him had exchanged about seventy some texts before Sunday night as Teddy sat at his desk rubbing his eyes sleepily and trying to study the best he could. His eyes flicked over to his easel where he had left his half finished portrait of Cassie that he was trying to work on to get done before her birthday. Cass wasn’t turning 17 until August but he knew he better do something while he felt creatively exhausted from his work in AP painting.</p>
<p>Teddy felt an instant flash of ’stupid idea’ as he was scanning over the portrait of Cassie. As dumb as it sounded Teddy really wanted to talk to Billy more, in person even. Billy was snide and sarcastic and he always kept Teddy on his toes trying to avoid or counter his casual digs. Awful the idea may be he felt himself yearn for it to happen, and maybe he could even become more familiar with the rest of Kate's group, maybe he could turn his senior year around. </p>
<p>Before all of his self doubt made him give up he texted Cassie.</p>
<p>TEDDY : Can we sit with Kate tomorrow?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Gang's Forming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tumblr - billykaplan-666</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kate had immediately accepted Teddy and Cassie into her medium sized group as soon as the first lunch bell rang on Monday. Immediately Cassie and Teddy were welcomed into a group larger than any he had been around in months. His throat was constricted, words hushed and quiet, stomach unsettled the moment he sat down. Having so many eyes fixated on him questioningly made his skin crawl and eyes fall directly to the table. </p>
<p>The uncomfortable, intrusive feeling never went away as time went on but it did subside and by that Thursday Teddy had fallen comfortably into the group. Kate had seated him with Cassie to his left and Billy’s brother Tommy to his right, unfortunately Billy sat right across from him and Tommy and Eli were frequently lost in conversation. Billy was even more enamoring in person, he was quick witted and funny. Teddy was terrified of what he felt growing in him whenever he talked to Billy, texted him, or even simply exchanged glances or smiles with him.</p>
<p>Billy hadn’t chosen to question anything either, none of them had probably out of some sort of respect for his feelings but he knew they were all anxiously wondering why he wasn’t off following Gregs every cue.</p>
<p>Billy’s favorite color was either dark red or a light blue, it depended on the day and his favorite pizza place was only a block from his house and every Wednesday he ran to the comic store to pick up the new releases he had been desperately waiting for. His favorite movie was also 'The Sound of Music' which Teddy had laughed at, garnering him 10 minutes of unresponsiveness from Billy.</p>
<p>Each day they texted while doing homework or eating dinner and occasionally Tommy would steal Billy’s phone and text him until Billy said he managed to get it back. Teddy was interested in anything and everything that Billy could talk about and he had never felt that before not even with Greg.</p>
<p>Lunch today was busier, more full of conversation and Teddy was so excited by all of it. Left and right everyone was making jokes and asking him about his day and his paintings and he felt ready to burst, the feeling was amazingly overwhelming and he felt like smiling widely as possible and vomiting all at the same time.</p>
<p>“We have to do a movie night with everyone tomorrow again, we should go to the theater though I can not clean up Tommy’s mess again.” Kate said, addressing the group from her spot at the table.</p>
<p>Teddy was quiet as they all gave affirmations, he still wasn’t sure on where he lied in the group and even though he knew they were kind and welcoming they still could just be pitying him in order to please Cassie. </p>
<p>“That Orange Fanta came out fine.” Tommy said rolling his eyes at Kate.</p>
<p>“After thirty minutes of everyone scrubbing the carpet.” Billy said casting Tommy a glare and scowling at him.</p>
<p>“We had fun.” Tommy retorted with a goofy smile.</p>
<p>“Anyway, tomorrow at the place two streets down at five? We can decide when we get there?” Kate asked.</p>
<p>Everyone seemed to agree and Cassie looked over at him with a smile, she knew he was tense. Going out with everyone was a lot different than lunch, more public and more personal. It was a group of people that cared enough and enjoyed everyone enough to be around them when they could be doing anything else, it was a step from where they were and Teddy was hesitant. </p>
<p>“Please don’t let Billy make us see Batman Begins again.” Tommy said groaning.</p>
<p>“You like Batman Begins?” Teddy said more questioningly rather than accusingly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, they thought it wasn’t good.” Billy responded.</p>
<p>“Christian Bale does have a weird batman voice.” Teddy argued, smiling.</p>
<p>“Exactly, that’s what I said.” Tommy smugly smiled at Billy.</p>
<p>“All I said was that I liked it, doesn’t mean I liked all of it.” Billy said pointing at Tommy.</p>
<p>“I liked it.” Teddy said timidly, regretting how he was still grinning like an idiot when he looked at Billy.</p>
<p>“Ugh Teddy. You were supposed to be on my side.” Tommy said knocking him in the shoulder.</p>
<p>It was always weird to look at Tommy, who was supposed to be a copy of Billy but was clearly different with sharp platinum bleached hair, green eyes, and a wider nose. It was still odd to imagine that they were the same if Tommy changed just a little since Teddy had already separated them in his mind.</p>
<p>“I don’t take sides.” Teddy said chuckling.</p>
<p>“Lie!” Cassie yelled from his side and Billy and Tommy laughed quietly.</p>
<p>“When?” Teddy asked.</p>
<p>“Anytime Lawson asks you about my photos you take her side, you always agree with her Teddy.” </p>
<p>“She has twenty years more experience.”</p>
<p>“Ugh.” Cassie said looking away from him, she was clearly feigning hurt but still Teddy knew she was right. She always stood up when his paintings were brought into question.</p>
<p>Hours later when Teddy was growing even more frustrated with how his oil painting wasn’t cooperating, he moved to look up at Mrs. Terry and once she caught his gaze she smiled and he tilted his head towards the door. She laughed quietly from her spot and nodded.</p>
<p>He walked over to the photography room crossing his fingers and hoping that Cassie wasn’t busy in the dark room, he alway hated how the toner smelled. Cass was fiddling with her camera near her desks when he came in and he smiled when she looked over.</p>
<p>“Hey.” He said quietly.</p>
<p>“Gross, you’re covered in oil paint.” She spoke, smirking.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t cooperating.”</p>
<p>Silence fell and his eyes moved to avoid any contact as what he ruminated on what to say.</p>
<p>“Do I always take Lawson's side?’ Teddy asked quietly.</p>
<p>“Yeah but don’t worry, I never really change anything when she suggests it.” She smiled brightly up at him, trying to change the furrowed brow and small frown on his own face.</p>
<p>“You’re coming tomorrow right?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Probably.” He said half heartedly.</p>
<p>“Teddy.” She said as she pulled his arm, a signal for him to sit.</p>
<p>“You gotta come, it’ll be fun.” She said smiling.</p>
<p>“I will.” </p>
<p>“Are you sure, I really want you to come.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be there then.” </p>
<p>“Go clean up before the bell, all that paint looks gross.” She pushed him on the chest lightly and turned back to the table as he stood up.</p>
<p>Rushes of anxiety and panic ran through him as he stood on the corner, only a few buildings down from where he was supposed to meet everyone and from what his watch was telling him, he was ten minutes late. Irrational fears raced through him and he began questioning everything all over again as if he hadn’t ran through everything in the apartment, then the subway, now again here. He shut his eyes tightly and shoved his fists into his hoodie as he desperately tried to flush away all of the overwhelming, dizzying phrases falling away into nothing. He felt the surrounding traffic, rush of people and cacophony of noises fall back into place, louder than they were when he had felt lost only a moment ago, it was comforting to be back again.</p>
<p>Teddy walked quickly down to the AMC now that the biggest concern was being late, and once he entered through the revolving doors he saw Cassie waving to him from the corner with everyone else. </p>
<p>God, he was late. He had held them up, halted their plans, probably made them silently upset.</p>
<p>He smiled as widely as he could muster and walked over to everyone.</p>
<p>“Okay we decided on V for Vendetta.” Kate said as she handed Teddy a ticket.</p>
<p>“How did you get tickets for Cassie?” Teddy questioned looking down at the large 18+ on the side of his ticket.</p>
<p>“I asked for five tickets, they didn’t ask for IDs.” she said plainly.</p>
<p>“Oh, hold on.” Teddy said, reaching into his pocket and picking out a ten dollar bill and tried to hand it to Kate.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it.” she said with a smile as they all turned and started towards the popcorn stand.</p>
<p>“Kate never lets us pay, don’t worry.” Billy said as he fell behind Tommy and joined Teddy at his side.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Teddy said tucking the bill pack in his pocket and feeling guilt wash over him, if he hadn’t been late he could have paid for his own ticket.</p>
<p>"Are you sure?" Teddy asked timidly.</p>
<p>"You get used to it eventually plus her dads a millionaire so ten dollars is like a penny." Billy said quietly.</p>
<p>Silence fell between them and Teddy felt obligated to fill it with something.</p>
<p>“Kate has her first show tomorrow right?” Teddy asked carefully.</p>
<p>“Yeah but she said she doesn’t really care if we go, I mean two and a half hours of The Music Man isn’t exactly how I want to spend my Saturday.” Billy said, careful to keep quiet as to avoid any attention from Kate.</p>
<p>“Are you going to get popcorn, I don't want to get a whole bucket for myself. You could split one with me and Tommy.” Billy said looking up at him , wide hazel eyes still bright in the dim lighting.</p>
<p>“As long as I can pay.” Teddy said, as a rush of pink moved to the tops of his cheeks that he could feel warming his skin.</p>
<p>“How about we split it three ways, I’ll give you back five?” Billy asked looking down at his crumpled assortment of bills as they took their place in line.</p>
<p>“Cool with me.” Teddy remarked as he handed Billy his ten. Billy took it and quickly handed him a five dollar bill and once Teddy grabbed onto it he could feel the side of Billy’s fingers graze his own he felt a jolt rush through him as he quickly looked away and up at the menu as he shoved it into his pocket. Billy tapped Tommy’s shoulder and started talking about splitting popcorn while Teddy’s mind was fixed on the feeling of their fingers grazing.</p>
<p>Billy had carried the large bucket with an ear to ear grin as he looked at the massive amount of popcorn and Teddy laughed lightly as he began to doubt their need for a jumbo popcorn. That doubt was flushed away as Tommy dug his hand into the popcorn and came out with a huge handful.</p>
<p>“Please don’t shove all of that in your mouth.” Eli said, eyes wide and voice twined with amusement.</p>
<p>“That a dare?” Tommy said quickly before shoving all of it into his mouth, looking like a chipmunk once it was all inside.</p>
<p>“Gross man.” Eli remarked covering his eyes as Tommy struggled to chew.</p>
<p>“Tommy, eww.” Kate reacted, taking her mouth off of her soda straw.</p>
<p>Tommy finished all of the mass amount of popcorn in his mouth a good minute later and reached for the Coke Billy had bought desperately. He groaned and handed it to Tommy who clung to it desperately and took a long gulp before another and finally before his third Billy managed to yank it back.</p>
<p>“Bad idea.” Tommy said, voice raw and scratchy as he coughed once.</p>
<p>“Really?” Eli asked sarcastically as he chuckled.</p>
<p>"Tommy always like that?" Teddy asked jokingly as him and Billy fell behind the group.</p>
<p>"A dumbass? Always." Billy said with a hushed laugh</p>
<p>They had settled down mildly when making their way to the eighth theater, and once they walked in and the lights were dim already they knew the trailers had finished. All their eyes scanned over the rows and rows of seats until they found a patch that Cassie pointed to on the end with seven, enough for all of them and an extra for comfort. Teddy chose to wait in the back of the crowd as they all filed in and he chose the edge seat next to Tommy who was shoveling popcorn back in his mouth after his quick break earlier when he had almost choked.</p>
<p>Eventually the parade of trailers ended and the movie began, every so often Teddy would feel Tommy hitting him in the side with the bucket, he would hold it for a little then hand it back and he kept the cycle going. Teddy felt that wave wash again, it had come back the feeling of stares and hate and anxiety that came through earlier when he was late. The dark encompassing room provided no resident and he felt more constricted than before, all of a sudden he stood up and plastered a smile on his face before he walked down the theater steps and out the side door.</p>
<p>Eyes were struck immediately by the change in lighting and he felt himself shut them quickly in slight affliction. He looked around and found the bathroom a few theaters down, Teddy walked quickly down and ran in speedily. Mind raced as he flooded into a stall, locked the door and stood there, not wanting to sit he stood and shut his eyes trying to push away everything again. He could feel the wave start to lose its power, it lost steam as it crashed on the shore. The buzzing subsided and he felt his breathing return to normal. Anything but normal was happening though and the anger he felt towards himself for these ‘waves’ was overpowering.</p>
<p>He understood that those months after Greg had squashed him, months of stares in the hallway, of quiet remarks, and of laughter by Greg and old friends as he passed had burrowed deep inside him and filled him with anxiety. </p>
<p>Understanding why you were drowning never managed to help the fact that you couldn’t swim.</p>
<p>He opened his eyes again and opened the stall, washing his hands as quietly as possible before slipping through the door. He stopped at the fountain and filled his dry throat with swells of water before standing and wiping his mouth and returning to the theater.</p>
<p>He sat and hoped that no one really noticed and that he could hold back any more influxes of anxiety. The movie finished shortly after and even having missed ten minutes he could definitely say that he enjoyed it as they all buzzed once they left the theater.</p>
<p>“Well, that was a lot.”  Cassie stated jokingly once they were back out amongst the city, this time as the sun was lowering.</p>
<p>Quietly they all agreed to return home rather than crash at Kate’s penthouse and before Teddy knew what was happening they were all saying goodby and Billy came up to him, bucket in hand.</p>
<p>“You wanna take this with you?” He asked grinning, holding out the bucket.</p>
<p>“I think I’m good,  besides Tommy definitely wants more.” Teddy smiled and responded.</p>
<p>“I can’t say that he doesn’t.” Billy stated as he looked behind his shoulder at Tommy.</p>
<p>Teddy chuckled a little and smirked at Billy, looking him straight in the eyes.</p>
<p>“Thanks for coming Cassie said she had to beg you to come.”</p>
<p>“She is a filthy liar.” he glanced at her, feeling conflicted that Cassie had presumably told Kate or Billy about their talk.</p>
<p>“Well either way it was a good movie and a lot of fun.” Billy had tucked his free hand into his pocket and was looking up at Teddy with his piercing eyes and Teddy instantly felt one pure feeling overcome him.</p>
<p>He immediately imagined pulling Billy in close and kissing him slowly, running his hand through the back of his midnight hair and feeling his lips touch his. It was overwhelming, overcoming and surrounding him, he yearned but tamped down quickly and felt the feeling subside, though it never left his mind it only grew smaller and more manageable.</p>
<p>He snapped his eyes from Billy’s and looked down the street.</p>
<p>“I better leave before mom comes home, she probably wants to marathon the X-Files.” Teddy said smiling brightly down at Billy.</p>
<p>“Damn, sounds more fun than fighting for the remote.” Billy said.</p>
<p>“Just a little.” Teddy laughed.</p>
<p>“Well, goodbye.” Billy said in what felt like a whisper meant only for him as Tommy yanked his shoulder, smile wide as ever.</p>
<p>“Bye.” Teddy said before Billy left earshot and before he had processed it he was alone on the corner again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Informal Promposition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tumblr - billykaplan-666</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CASSIE : We’re going to prom.</p><p>TEDDY : What?</p><p>CASSIE : The group’s going to prom on Saturday</p><p>TEDDY : We’re a group?</p><p>CASSIE : Yeah of course, anyway we’re going </p><p>TEDDY : I don’t have a suit</p><p>CASSIE : We can rent you one, or you could buy one</p><p>TEDDY : I don’t know, prom is different than a trip to the movies</p><p>CASSIE : It’ll be a good time besides it’s your senior prom, you’re a senior remember?</p><p>TEDDY : I do sadly</p><p>CASSIE : Me and Kate are going dress shopping, wanna tag along, we can get you a suit?</p><p>TEDDY : I’ll meet you where are we going?</p><p>Choosing the right dress had gone the opposite of how they all had expected. Kate managed to find a pastel violet dress like she had wanted almost immediately and Cassie still couldn’t choose a color she wanted. On the other hand he was doing worse than Cassie, he grabbed half of his saved allowance, fifty dollars, and couldn’t find anywhere that rented for less than a hundred a day. He could buy some nice shoes, maybe wear jeans and an old moto jacket to prom and top it all off with shiny dress shoes that could reflect anything. </p><p>While at the seventh formal wear store of the day Teddy found a navy suit that looked like it could finally fit him perfectly. He had broken his rule and tried it on quickly, trying to avoid any store management and was ready to run out once he looked in the mirror. It fit him smoother than any piece of clothing he’d worn, stopped right abelow his ankles, went all the way to his wrists, and was still as breathable as could be.</p><p>Admittedly getting his hopes high and trying on a suit that he knew was exactly what he dreamed was a mistake but a little part of him just wanted to allow Kate to pay for it like she had offered when they started. He wouldn’t though, nor would he charge it to the emergency card his mom had given him two years ago. It was just nice to feel like he could.</p><p>Halfway through carefully removing his arms from his suit jacket Kate found him and helped ease the jacket off.</p><p>“Did you like it?” She said holding the jacket for him gently.</p><p>“No, Cassie see anything?” He asked quietly as he ducked into the changing room, Kate placing the jacket on the hook in the door before he closed it.</p><p>“Yeah, she picked red, kinda short. Shorter than I thought she’d get.” Kate's muffled voice stated from the other side of the partition.</p><p>“She does like red, she wears that one sweater all the time.” Teddy was struggling to move his jeans back on after having the suit fit him so well, it was definitely foreign.</p><p>“Well, she’s paying right now. Where should we go next, I know a few more places.” Kate said he knew she was trying, whether it be for Cassie or she really cared about him.</p><p>“Cassie told you I wasn’t sure right? Maybe I’ll stay home. I could meet everyone for pizza after or something.” He had finished changing but couldn’t face Kate while they were talking about this so he was busy untying and retying his shoes.</p><p>“You could but then you wouldn’t get to have fun with us the whole night.”</p><p>“That’s okay, I don’t want to intrude.” He said. Facade was growing harder to sustain and he felt himself breaking a little as Kate kept up the interrogation.</p><p>“We want you there. I mean don’t you want to go, I know we’re not very close but you and Cass are, Billy too.” </p><p>Pushing Billy out of his mind had been hard since Friday, they had texted a few times about lunch or stuff like that but not as often as he’d wanted. </p><p>“I’ll find one, you know my mom might have an old one of dads around, I think I’ll do that.” Teddy stated, holding his palms up to rub at his face slowly.</p><p>“I, are you sure?” Kate asked through the door.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be right out. Meet you guys out there.” He stated. Under the doorway he had watched her boots turn slowly then walk off.</p><p>Okay. They wanted him there. They wanted him to go. That cleared that up, at least Kate said she wanted him there. That was something, that was good.</p><p>Teddy had said goodbye once they reached the subway and had promised to get a suit when Cass held him in place and made him promise. He was struggling to imagine any way to get a suit that didn’t involve making his mother pay for one, at least he had been until he remembered exactly what they had done when his dad had died.</p><p>That was exactly how Teddy found himself standing in front of the goodwill only a few streets down from his apartment. The selection wasn’t stellar but he found a navy suit, it wasn’t as eye catching or as form fitting at the other, and it had shoulder pads but he knew he could fix it. The pants only went barely above his ankles, making him look like a kid but it was the best he had to work with and it only set him back twenty dollars. He also had to convince himself that he chose blue instead of black because he liked navy and it looked nice and not partly because Billy liked blue.</p><p>“What is that!” Mom had shouted when she walked in the door, leaving her pink lemonade on the kitchen counter.</p><p>Bringing the suit back in the plastic instead of a goodwill bag was a mistake.</p><p>“A suit.” He said quietly as he took his shoes off.</p><p>“Please don’t tell me you’re going to prom!” She was already clawing at the plastic desperately.</p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p>“What do you mean maybe, when is it?” she gripped his shoulders as her smile grew wider.</p><p>“Saturday.” </p><p>“Teddy, it’s Tuesday night, you do know that.” She shouted as she shook him lightly and pressed him into a hug.</p><p>“You’re killing me Teddy, are you and Cassie going?” She said rubbing circles on his back.</p><p>“Me, Cassie and a few friends.” He said holding back his smile.</p><p>“A few friends? Come on what do you mean by that?” She said as she let go of him and stared him in the eye.</p><p>“Just friends.”</p><p>“I know you don’t like to talk about it but as your mom I do want to know if you really mean friends, no boy involved.”</p><p>“God no.” He said laughing as he walked past her, taking the suit with him.</p><p>“Okay, but put that on, I need to see you in it.” She yelled as he walked to his bedroom.</p><p>He slipped back into the suit, this time putting on a white undershirt and tie as well as his old dress socks to see what it all would look like. He stepped out and felt like an idiot but then  mom put her hand over her face and started crying then he felt like an asshole for rolling his eyes when he had walked out to show her.</p><p>“Come on, it doesn’t look that good. I still have to hem it.” He said desperately as she wiped her face.</p><p>“I’ll hem it for you, I can see your ankles Teddy bear. How do we fix that?” </p><p>She started laughing quietly and Teddy couldn’t help but break into laughter with her. Eventually they had broken out the sewing kit from the back of the closet and worked on his paints. They still couldn't solve the ankle problem but when they were done it could almost be said that he could have bought his suit from one of the seven formal wear stores he had been to that day.</p><p>“I’d say I did pretty well for someone who only pricked their fingers three times.” She said once they tucked the suit carefully into his closet.</p><p>“You did great, thanks for the help.” He beamed at her, hair messily pulled into a ponytail and mascara smeared from crying but still smiling and excited.</p><p>“I wish your dad was here to help sometimes.” She said quietly as she returned to the pink lemonade she had left out earlier.</p><p>“We did great on our own.” </p><p>“I, Teddy was I good? When you came out? Am I doing it right?” She dropped her glass back to the counter and looked over with desperation in her eyes.</p><p>“Of course you are, you didn’t kick me out.” He chuckled a little trying to take the tension away.</p><p>“Did you think I would?” She didn’t laugh, hadn’t made any change to her face.</p><p>“Never.” He had turned to stone, sad that she was doubting how amazing she had been.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Amazingly this was the moment where he was ready to break, not when he wanted so desperately to let Kate pay for his suit, not when she had cried earlier, and not when she had stabbed him in the side with the needle by accident.</p><p>“I’m not okay with it, not yet at least. It’s never been you, it was hard to say it the first time and I still can’t really say it.” He wiped at what little bit he had let out and forced the rest of his tears back into his eyes quickly.</p><p>“Teddy, you could tell me, I want to help you baby.”</p><p>“You can’t help it, I just need time.”</p><p>“Are you sure? I could look for another book. I could go to one of those meetings they have, I forget the name.” she said quickly then paused and moved over to him and took his hand.</p><p>“I just need you to know that I’m proud of you and I’m always ready to talk with you about anything even if it might be uncomfortable.”</p><p>“Please, I really don’t want that talk. You already gave me the other one when they started teaching health.” He rolled his eyes and smiled at her, she laughed quietly to herself.</p><p>“Okay, well go to bed it’s already ten.” She said quietly and ruffled his hair.</p><p>“We don’t have bedtimes.” </p><p>“Shhhh.” she smiled and walked off to her room.</p><p>He pulled his phone out and expected a few texts from Cass but got a greater surprise when he opened his mailbox.</p><p> </p><p>BILLY : I heard someone’s coming to prom with all of us.</p><p>BILLY : Also heard they dragged you around to buy dresses.</p><p>Teddy smiled and typed back.</p><p>TEDDY : They did, a little late for dress shopping though.</p><p>BILLY : I convinced everyone to go yesterday, I mean we’re all seniors, not including Cassie. </p><p>TEDDY : Dammnit, it was you, thought you were on my side.</p><p>BILLY : You don’t take sides, remember?</p><p>TEDDY : Tommy still holding that grudge?</p><p>BILLY : Haha he’s too busy trying to get Kate to make out with him</p><p>TEDDY : He likes Kate? </p><p>BILLY : I said too much</p><p>TEDDY : BILLY!</p><p>BILLY : Did you get a suit?</p><p>TEDDY : Yes, wait Tommy likes Kate?</p><p>BILLY : ugh, Tommy likes Kate and so does Eli. They have this weird love triangle going on.</p><p>TEDDY : Wow</p><p>BILLY : exactly, it’s gross</p><p>TEDDY : One way to put it</p><p>Friday hit like a train once it did come and all of a sudden they had made plans to eat, go in a limo, and crash at Kates afterwards. Suddenly a little meal and some dancing for a few hours had turned into spending most of the day together. </p><p>“You think Kate will let us pick somewhere fun to eat.” Billy said as they headed for the lunch table.</p><p>“I’m guessing a four star seafood restaurant is in our future, I would love to do burgers down at the manhattan, the restaurant not that one bar.”  Teddy snickered as he dodged a group of girls in their way.</p><p>“I’d be down for the bar.” Billy said with a laugh as he hiked his bag back up on his shoulder.</p><p>Most days Teddy knew Billy just rotated his hoodies and a t- shirt but today he was wearing a dark v neck and a red long sleeve plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. It was distracting, not only that Billy looked good in the outfit but the v neck he kept adjusting was a little too large so it showed a little more of his chest than just his collarbones. He had to fight restlessly to keep his eyes trained on Billys face which was also a minefield of distraction that sent him dizzy. </p><p>He really couldn’t win any battle.</p><p>As soon as they sat down Kate pulled out her planner and began rushing through their plan now that everyone was sitting.</p><p>“Okay so I was thinking that I’d get Eli then Teddy would go to Cassie’s, I’ll pick them up then we’ll get Billy and Tommy then swing around to the restaurant. Then prom finished off with a little party at my place, everyone’s welcome to sleep over though boys do have to stay in the guest rooms. My dad’s being an ass about that.”</p><p>“Where are we eating though?” Billy said eyes filled with concern, knowing that the meal would make or break the night.</p><p>“Well I knew we would have to go kosher and no shellfish also somewhere with vegetarian options for Cassie so I was thinking Pizza.”</p><p>“You made that sound like you picked the perfect restaurant.” Tommy said slowly.</p><p>“Listen, I decided on pizza the rest of you can duke it out. I know how sacred pizza is, I wasn’t going to pick somewhere you weren’t happy with.” Kate said closing her planner and moving it back on top of her stack of binders.</p><p>They did duke it out just as she said they would and the last two left in the battle were Cassie and Eli who could not settle on whether they should have the best deep dish pizza or the best regular pizza. Cassie had really tried to sell deep dish but eventually gave up when the point of too much sauce, which would get all over their clothes was brought up.</p><p>“If you all didn’t eat like five year olds we could have deep dish.” Cassie spit out as she angrily bit into her apple.</p><p>“Harsh.” Billy said, smiling.</p><p>“You’re brother was the one who shoved a serving of popcorn in his mouth then almost choked.” Cassie pointed to Tommy whose eyebrows rose.</p><p>Teddy broke out into a fit of laughter and another war, this time between Cassie and Tommy, broke out.  Teddy didn’t dare tell them that he wanted to just get shake shack but the would likely get glares from both Cass and Tommy.</p><p>Saturday had come too readily for Teddy's liking, he needed more time to calm every rushing thought.</p><p>He let out a large sigh as he fussed with the buttons of his jacket then smoothed down the arms of his blazer and stood as straight as he could. The mirror only reflected a nervous wreck back at him but at least his suit looked nice enough despite the odd stitching in some places. He closed his eyes and took another breath, appreciating the quiet the bathroom offered before turning the knob hesitantly and stepping out.</p><p>“Well?” He asked timidly.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Form Fitted Suits and Cowlicks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr - billykaplan-666</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Teddy had stuffed his bag with a change of clothes, allergy medicine, swim trunks (Cassie told him too) and peanut m&amp;ms.</p><p> </p><p>Admittedly packing like a five year old wasn't the best way to show everyone including himself that he was a senior and ready to be an adult but who really cared. At least that’s the attitude he wanted to have for everything tonight, though at least he had a shred of it to help with his m&amp;m dilemma.</p><p> </p><p>He also looked like a buffoon walking over to Cassies with a suit on, hair done as well as he could manage, and backpack swung over one shoulder. He kept his eyes glued to the sidewalk best he could and avoided bewildered stares on his way over and by the time he arrived Kate was five minutes away and Cassie still wasn’t changed.</p><p> </p><p>“So, hair is done but what do you have left?” Teddy questioned as Cassie finished spraying the updo she had fashioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Well a little makeup and then we gotta get my dress on, can you text Kate and tell her we’ll be a little late?” Cassie had grabbed her blush and had already gotten started by the time his phone left his pocket.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, hold on.” He said with a sigh as he sent Kate the quick text.</p><p> </p><p>“You look really nice, why navy blue?” She asked, putting her brush down.</p><p> </p><p>“I liked the one at the formal place, this one looks a little similar.” Teddy said looking down, he had only noticed the small circular stain on his lapel a day ago but it would definitely bug him all night.</p><p> </p><p>“Mhm, I’m glad you get to see the dress finally.” </p><p> </p><p>“I saw it in the plastic but I’m sure you’ll look amazing.” He laughed a little when she rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Well you already look so handsome Teddy bear, you really clean up. The heir is fun too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really, it looks pretty much the same, less messy probably.” He said reaching up to move loose strands back into place.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure Billy will like it.”She said quietly, matching his wide eyes in the mirror with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” He said quietly, his palms were sweaty now and he felt as if the air conditioning had just broken.</p><p> </p><p>“Teddy, known you for three years remember?” It was clear she was interested and wanted to talk but Teddy was still hesitant. His hands were over his face and he sighed deeply before uncovering his eyes and looking at the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think everyone knows? Does he know?” He was quiet, hands wringing anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know Billy well enough but no one else notices, I think. Teddy like I said, three years. It’s hard not to tell when you avoid eye contact or blush like an idiot. Plus Kate keeps telling me that you two keep talking.” Cassie said, she was finished with her make up and had gotten up.</p><p> </p><p>“Just friends.” Teddy said as he slowly followed Cass to her living room and picked up her dress for her.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, are you okay with that?” She asked as she closed the door to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Teddy said through the door.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Friends wasn’t where he wanted to be with Billy, it didn’t take long at all to realize that since kissing your friend on the sidewalk and hoping he would still taste of popcorn wasn’t the kind of thing friends did. He wanted it so badly, to be able to lean down and feel Billy lean into the kiss, hopefully as desperate as Teddy was for the contact. It had been a little more than a month and despite any miniscule effort Teddy had tried to force himself into trying not to fall down that hill of infatuation he had stumbled head first. </p><p> </p><p>Teddy had given too much thought into what Billy would look like dressed up for tonight and in his mind Billy was in a perfectly fitted tux that matched his hair exactly. God, what that image had done to him was exactly why Cassie’s mother hadn’t wanted him over until a year ago when he told her he was gay.</p><p> </p><p>He had to reign himself and all the other wandering dreams that plagued his mind back into a concentrated box though, where he could control them easier. </p><p> </p><p>Billy had never told Teddy he was gay and even though it was common knowledge by anyone at this point because Jon Kessler, that douchebag, had beat him up until last year. (That was all Billy had told him, hadn’t given him any more insight.) Billy still hadn’t chosen to tell Teddy and he had to respect that even if it was painful.</p><p> </p><p>Then Cassie stepped out and suddenly he felt like he was his own mother.</p><p> </p><p>Cassie had messed with her hair a little, pulling out a piece of blonde in the front to hang or pull behind her ear and she had put on the corsage he mom had made. Her gown touched exactly the floor, didn’t drag or trail and it was a bright artificial cherry red and all of a sudden she wasn’t Freshman Cassie anymore. She didn’t have some silly obsession with a kid named Nate who would move out of state after they dated for a week. Cassie wasn’t the Cassie he always imagined anymore and just thinking about that made him want to sob into her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Wow.” He said smiling brightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Cassie asked quietly, fluffing the tulle of her dress.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay well Kate’s waiting and mom wants a picture of us so get the hell out of the way.”</p><p> </p><p>It turned out that Kate's plan was not to take them to dinner in one of her dad's SUVs but actually pick them up, get dinner, go to prom, and go home in the limo.</p><p> </p><p>“So, should I just leave my bag in the limo?” He asked quietly once they had made sure Cassie wouldn’t crease any part of her dress.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, so you excited to stay over tonight?” Kate asked as she pulled out water from one of the coolers, Jesus Christ the limo had coolers. That was awesome, he had to give her that. </p><p> </p><p>“Cass has told me a lot about the penthouse.”</p><p> </p><p>She had actually while they were taking photos she listed off so much that his head was spinning and he no longer knew if there was a hot tub inside of  the pool or the balcony, it was probably both.</p><p> </p><p>“Well Dad’s out of town so it’s just me and my older sister right now, I love her but it’s been so boring. Can not wait to have one night where we don’t watch That 70’s Show on a loop.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we watch it tonight?” Cassie asked as she smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“I can toss you out of the limo if you’d like.” Kate stated, hitting Cassie’s leg with her own.</p><p> </p><p>Minutes later they pulled up to get Billy and Tommy and as soon as Teddy glanced out the window he saw a two story pristine brick house towering over the limo.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t ready, Tommy had ran out and jumped in much to the dismay of the driver who scolded him since they were so close to the curb and Tommy could have given the vehicle a scuff. Tommy was wearing a grey suit with white stripes down the side and a light green tie that matched his scarily bright eyes. Teddy had done the gentlemanly act of holding the limousine doors open and once Tommy had settled into a seat he told him that Billy was “busy trying to fix a cowlick”.</p><p> </p><p>He was absolutely confident that the little CPR training he had gotten from public school couldn’t help with how he lost any incoming air as soon as Billy stepped out of the door.</p><p> </p><p>He wheezed loudly and started coughing while he was certain he was scarlet on every part of his face.</p><p> </p><p>Teddy’s frenzied brain didn’t really have any words to describe how handsome Billy was but feeling like a car had smashed into his lungs definitely summed up how he felt.</p><p> </p><p>Billy wasn’t in a tux but he was in a satin black suit that shined once he stepped out of the shadows in his doorframe. His balck hair was parted like normal but instead of falling more towards his face it was more swept back almost curled a little towards his ears delicately, and he must have trimmed hair since the sides were definitely shorter than before. Billy was wearing a striped navy and white tie that matched a pocket square delicately tucked into his suit jacket.</p><p> </p><p>He had stopped coughing and was trying to change a wide awestruck smile to a simple smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” Teddy said once Billy was in earshot.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, like the suit.” Billy said as he pulled his bang piece back in place that had been moved by the slight breeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Same to you.” Teddy was breathless as Billy took off his suit jacket and crouched into the limo.</p><p> </p><p>Teddy pushed out a ragged breath that he nearly choked on and hopped in, even more startled by the fact that Cassie had left a space for him in between herself and Billy.</p><p> </p><p>Riding the ten minutes to Eli’s had been agony. On one side Cassie was constantly grinning and side eyeing him or full on turning to smile and on his other side Billy was finding the view from the opposite window more entertaining and hadn’t really spoken a word since Teddy sat down.</p><p> </p><p>Once they pulled up to Eli's, Kate practically threw herself out of the car to go meet him at the door while Tommy had taken charge of the limousine door.</p><p> </p><p>“So, should be fun to watch these two fight for attention.” He said just loud enough for Cass and Billy to hear, scared that Tommy would hear.</p><p> </p><p>“Hm, maybe it’ll stop.” Cassie said, rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Just wait ‘til we get there it should be ten times worse once we have to decide the seating order, don’t even ask them who’s dancing with who?” Billy said.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s enjoy the moment while we can.” Cassie laughed.</p><p> </p><p>That sentiment only lasted a minute, Eli had tried to follow Kate in with great resistance from Tommy. Eventually the battle ended and Eli took his seat next to Kate and Tommy sat next to his brother who let out a nervous cough as he fell angrily into the leather seat. The ride was a  little less quiet with Kate and Eli talking while Cassie complained about her next portfolio and Tommy grumbled lowly next to Billy each time Kate laughed.</p><p> </p><p>It was a lot more tense than movie night and he knew they were keeping him out of the loop, something had happened for sure. Cassie was amazingly more upset then Tommy when they got to the pizza place and started back her argument about deep dish pizza and it’s superiority.</p><p> </p><p>Teddy had let everyone out before him and was struck again with the urgency of loss of ability to breathe when he was about to swing a foot out and push himself out and a hand appeared. Billy was propping up the limo door and holding his hand out, a small glowing smile on his face as he stood patiently. Teddy was ready to help himself out and avoid Billy knowing how fast his hand had clammed up but he knew that would be more rhude than a warm hand.</p><p> </p><p>Billy's hand was smaller than his for sure but still strong and once Teddy had gotten up he let out a quiet thank you and Billy closed the door.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what happened with the triangle?” Teddy asked quietly, getting a little closer to Billy.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, Kate told Tommy she really likes Eli.” Billy whispered back.</p><p> </p><p>“That must have hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s been pissed all day.” Billy said.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, at least now he can move on.” Teddy stated, trying to be optimistic.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not holding my breath.” Billy sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, either way I brought peanut m&amp;ms. If he’s too sad tonight we can try to cheer him up.” </p><p> </p><p>“You did!” Billy said laughing quietly as they stepped in the restaurant.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what kind of snacks Kate has, I’m not taking chances.” Teddy said hushedly as they sat to wait for their table.</p><p> </p><p>“Hate to break it to you but her penthouse has cooks that serve every owner, we could literally have them make us a cake, it would take like a half hour.” Billy smirked up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“No one told me that, totally getting a cake.” Teddy said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Cassie nudged him with her heel and he looked over as she smiled and gave a little wave. Unfortunately Billy took notice and waved back to which Cassie laughed a little too loudly, garnering stares from some other waiting guests.</p><p> </p><p>“Cassie looks nice.” Billy said.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah her mom cried like three times, it is weird though. She looks a lot different from when she was a freshman.” Teddy said with a soft smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think you don’t?” Billy chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Not at all, I was always this tall.” Teddy said with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I was taller than you when we were freshmen.” </p><p> </p><p>“I was really short.” </p><p> </p><p>Mary-Jo Altman could certainly attest to that, when he started growing she had to buy him longer pants every six months, it wasn’t great for her bank account.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for the confidence booster.” </p><p> </p><p>“Just because you can’t reach the top of the fridge doesn’t mean you can’t do anything you put your mind to.” Teddy said before he broke out into quiet laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sitting with you.” Billy sassed looking away with a smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>The table was ready soon after and Billy thankfully didn’t keep his promise and they stuck to the limousine sitting order to eat which unfortunately meant Eli and Tommy were next to each other. Neither did anything though Teddy knew it was at least a little cruel to have them next to one another.</p><p> </p><p>Despite Cassie’s earlier argument everyone enjoyed the ‘normal’ pizza place Elis had picked and they were off to prom, eventually that fact sank in and Teddy was jittery again.</p><p> </p><p>Greg would be there, fuck he would give a speech he was prom king and student president. Everyone else who had abandoned him when Greg dragged him through dirt would also be there and imagining their stares all night was getting him anxious again.</p><p> </p><p>“You good? You spaced out Teddy?” Cassie asked quietly, touching his shoulder gently.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay.” He whispered back to her as he patted the hand on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re behind you.” Cassie whispered back as she took her hand off his shoulder and smiled concerningly.</p><p> </p><p>He let out a breath and closed his eyes again, the surrounding traffic was comforting but all he could really hear was the conversations around him, he was busy calming himself down when they stopped abruptly.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, we made it.” Kate said, inching toward the door.</p><p> </p><p>The hotel was nicer than any he’d been in before with a large staircase leading up to the ballroom which could hardly be called that, it was more of a large empty room with a few tables.</p><p>They were maybe ten minutes past when the doors had opened and already it was crowded, and of course Greg was standing in the center of the ballroom surrounded by Jon kessler, Alex, and all the other preppy New York assholes he had put together in his four years.</p><p> </p><p>He was ready to barf on the burgundy carpet.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Under The Stars (Of The Parking Lot)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr - billykaplan-666</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The frog in his throat wasn’t going away as they stepped in, the only distraction was staring at the cheap star shaped foil balloons around the hall. ‘Under The Stars’ was a universal prom theme and Teddy didn’t know if it could ever be done well but at least some schools tried, the theme was less than fleshed out but nitpicking a high school prom wasn’t truly bringing him any entertainment. It wasn’t really fun to make fun of something that clearly had no effort put into it, at least there was soda though, that was something.</p>
<p>Luckily the group mentality was to beeline for the soda and he quickly chugged a Sprite hoping it would calm the urge to hurl, it didn’t but at least he wasn’t parched anymore.</p>
<p>“This is going to be so fun.” Kate said, sipping from her cup slowly.</p>
<p>“Don’t be an asshole, it could be fun.” Billy declared quietly as his eyes wandered through the room.</p>
<p>“Yeah, listen to Billy. He knows how to have a good time.” Tommy mocked.</p>
<p>“Fuck off.” Billy spit out under his breath at his brother.</p>
<p>“I’ll get a monitor, tattle on you for bullying. Don’t think I won’t.” Tommy said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, they’re so helpful.” Billy drawled, glaring at a teacher positioned in the corner.</p>
<p>Scarfing down brownies and candy really didn’t make him feel any more secure with himself or with the situation he was in but at least it was only seven thirty so no one was really gathering around the snacks yet. Eli, Cassie, and Kate had gone to chat around the room leaving Teddy and the twins on their own, currently Tommy was shoving as many Doritos as he could fit into his empty soda cup.</p>
<p>“You know, twenty minutes and I think I was wrong.” Billy said dejectedly looking at his cup.</p>
<p>“Hey, I’m having fun.” Tommy said through his mouthful of chips.</p>
<p>Billy sighed and turned away from Tommy as he continued with his Doritos binge.</p>
<p>“Come on, this is fun.” Teddy reassured.</p>
<p>“All anyone’s talked about is how unfun it is. Kate’s mishandling of her two lovesick idiots hasn’t helped anything either.” Billy huffed, casting a glance to Tommy quickly.</p>
<p>“I can’t say that you’re wrong on that one.” Teddy murmured, low enough so that Tommy couldn’t hear.</p>
<p>“I love her but sometimes I don’t want to deal with her mess.” </p>
<p>Billy rolled his eyes and turned quickly to glare at Tommy again, more maliciously this time, before turning back to Teddy and sighing heavily. It was clear Billy only wanted a good night with his friends although their own motives and faults had got in the way of an innocent plan. </p>
<p>Standing awkwardly with Billy however was far less anxious somehow than being seen by Greg or any of the other douchebags. </p>
<p>“So, when does the music start?” Cassie asked as she walked up, Kate and Eli trailing behind.</p>
<p>“I think once they close doors in like ten minutes.” Billy said.</p>
<p>“Thank god, I don’t want to talk to anyone else. I don’t mean you guys, that sounded bad. You know what I meant.” Cassie said before taking the last sip from her cup.</p>
<p>“I’m getting more to drink.” Cassie sighed.</p>
<p>“I’ll go with you.” Teddy replied.</p>
<p>“Want me to fill yours?” he asked Billy as loudly as he could muster, looking at him as the blush brightened on his cheeks. He was thankful for the awful lighting now.</p>
<p>“Um, if you want. It’s just water.” Billy said quietly, holding out his cup.</p>
<p>Their fingers touched as he took the cup quickly and smiled at Billy who smirked back.</p>
<p>“Are you sure about water?” Teddy asked jokingly, pulling a disgusted face.</p>
<p>“Unless there’s wine. Water is great.” Billy said.</p>
<p>“He’s only had wine like four times.” Tommy teased.</p>
<p>Teddy walked off with Cassie before he heard Billy's rebuttal but it was something funny enough to make Kate laugh.</p>
<p>The lights dimmed further as they reached the drink table and someone toyed with the microphone before Teddy felt the voice that came over the speakers hit him in the chest.</p>
<p>“Hello class of 2006, having fun?” </p>
<p>Hands tightened around the thin plastic cups he was holding as a jolt ran through him, barfing was an option that was suddenly back on the table as his head throbbed.</p>
<p>“I know you are. As class president it is an honor to also be your prom king and I am also honored to have such a smoking hot prom queen to accompany me.”</p>
<p>Yeah, he felt sick.</p>
<p>“Teddy?” Cassie questioned distantly as his eyes were focused on the soda bottles in front of him.</p>
<p>Cassie gripped his arm as he shut his eyes and let out a deep raspy breath. He forced himself to block out whatever else Greg was spitting as he tried to focus solely on Cassie’s hand gripping him.</p>
<p>“I’m okay.” He said quietly.</p>
<p>“No, you’re not Teddy.” She said sadly as she looked up at him.</p>
<p>“You look sick.” She paused as she touched his back lightly.</p>
<p>“I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.” He said slowly as he turned.</p>
<p>“I can send in Eli or Tommy?” She said, eyes full of deep concern.</p>
<p>“No.” He insisted a little too loudly.</p>
<p>“I’ll be right back I promise. Give me like five minutes.” He pleaded.</p>
<p>“Okay.” She huffed.</p>
<p>He hurried past her, as he opened the ballroom door slowly and wandered aimlessly before finding the bathroom. He stepped in and over the speakers he could hear a muffled continuation of Greg’s speech.</p>
<p>It wasn’t escapable this time.</p>
<p>There was nothing left to focus on and his body was shaking, he could feel cold sweat drip down his forehead.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>FUCK</p>
<p>‘You should be better than this’ his mind repeated as he spiraled, unable to focus on anything other than the booming voice that had commanded him to do so many things.</p>
<p>That voice had commanded so much of him and what was worse still was that he had chosen to obey, it was always his choice and he had chosen wrong for three years.</p>
<p>His eyelids squeezed shut and he choked back a quiet sob as absent tears ran down his cheeks slowly and briefly before he collected himself quickly and wiped them away with his sleeve as he looked in the mirror at a Teddy he didn’t want to recognize, one who still let Greg Norris affect him so heavily.</p>
<p>He walked out of the bathroom and shut the door carefully.</p>
<p>He couldn’t go back inside but the only other option was to sit in the hallway and hope someone wouldn’t scold him or to leave and get the fresh air his foggy mind was calling for.</p>
<p>Leaving wasn’t a good decision but it was one he had made on his own and that was positive.</p>
<p>He had chosen a spot on a bench away from the hotel windows next to the parking lot.</p>
<p>He shut his eyes lightly and felt the cool breeze against his legs through the thin suit fabric. He messed with his suit jacket as he sat alone, the sun had set a few minutes ago but the clouds were still painted with pink, light blue, and gold as the light was quickly leaving.</p>
<p>His problem still stood crystal clear and he knew, had known it was one he had to deal with as soon as possible rather than further down.</p>
<p>Anxiety, he knew he had at least some anxiety wrapped up in some box he had tucked away in his mind, no ‘okay’ person responded to an old friend by almost vomiting. Maybe some self help book his mom could pick up at the clearance store would help, god he hoped it would. </p>
<p>The breeze came back and even though he was wearing a suit jacket he still felt a little cold, he wasn’t dripping with nervous sweat to keep him uncomfortably warm anymore.</p>
<p>He distantly heard the hotel door open and close followed by footsteps that only came closer instead of farther which he had been silently hoping for.</p>
<p>Turning absently he saw Billy walking towards him slowly, heels of his dress shoes making clicking noises on the sidewalk like his own had earlier. Billy still looked as handsome as when he had seen him the first time that night walking out of his doorway with a shy grin. Teddy knew his hair had been disheveled and his face was probably shiny and stained red from the burn of quiet tears, he probably looked like shit.</p>
<p>Billy hovered next to the empty space on the bench as his hands slowly left his pocket and he looked down at Teddy before opening his mouth slowly.</p>
<p>“Room for another, there are more benches if not.” He murmured with a small apprehensive smile.</p>
<p>Teddy only nodded as he kept the blank mask on his face, if he let it slip he would quickly slip back into quiet silent pondering or heavy crying, neither of which good for the situation.</p>
<p>“Cassie told me you went to the restroom but it was empty.” He spoke slowly.</p>
<p>“I went back and she said you weren’t feeling well, it was a long shot but I’m glad you were out here.”</p>
<p>“Now you can’t go back in.” Teddy said incredibly sadly looking over at Billy with a frown.</p>
<p>“I hate to say it but this is more fun.” Billy smiled.</p>
<p>“You could be dancing.” Teddy sighed.</p>
<p>“You think they’re dancing. It’s not dancing from what I can tell. I don’t dance anyway.”</p>
<p>“This can not be more fun than in there.” Teddy lamented.</p>
<p>“Why not?” Billy asked with a smile.</p>
<p>Teddy didn’t say anything, he only kept the thin line of his lips straight. Silence fell as Billy sighed quietly and dropped his smile, running his hand through his hair.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Billy spoke concerningly.</p>
<p>“Greg.” Teddy uttered, name leaving a disgusting taste on his mouth.</p>
<p>“I’m guessing there’s a lot of history there.” Billy said quietly.</p>
<p>“Well, long story short he was an asshole and didn’t like me when he found out I wasn’t what he wanted me to be.” Teddy said.</p>
<p>“Is that why you started hanging out with us?” Billy questioned.</p>
<p>“No, I guess not directly. He left me last August and the only person I had left was Cassie. I wanted to get to know all of you better, I liked that I could be at least part of myself.” Teddy reflected, careful to avoid Billy’s stare.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you got to know us.” Billy said sincerely.</p>
<p>“Me too, I guess all of you don’t really know me though.” </p>
<p>“Give me a quick Teddy recap then.” Billy laughed as he leaned onto the back of the bench.</p>
<p>“Well it’s just me and my mom against the world, since I was born. I’ve been painting almost as long, it helps me with everything, I haven’t really been painting recently though. I listened to an asshole for three years, let him mold me into himself and then had him spit on me and leave me in the dirt.” He spoke softly and closed his eyes as he took a breath in.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about your dad.” Billy said.</p>
<p>“I never knew him and I’ve never really regretted not having him, my mom is all I need.” </p>
<p>“That’s good then, she sounds fun from what I’ve heard before.” Billy swiped away a piece of hair that had fallen into his face quickly.</p>
<p>“She’d agree.” Teddy laughed.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth slowly then closed it and took a breath as he fought himself for a moment before opening it again slowly.</p>
<p>“I guess all I have left is that. I’ve only said it a few times but, I’m gay.” Teddy spoke softly.</p>
<p>Teddy’s chest pressure had dropped away and he knew now that Billy knew everything, the real everything he could be more comfortable. Hopefully.</p>
<p>Billy smiled softly and Teddy could see the light blush on his cheeks in the dark.</p>
<p>“Me too.” Billy reassured as he looked up at Teddy.</p>
<p>Every portion of Teddy screamed madly as the remaining fragments of his brain that hadn't been fried by Billy's stare told him to lean down and dare to experience what had flashed so vividly and enchantingly in his dreams before. His mind was fractions of a second away from giving into the wholly unexperienced yet familiar fantasy.</p>
<p>A single piece of himself restrained. </p>
<p>Suddenly they were equal poles again, no longer on a course to unite. Teddy's eyes left Billy's enchanting hazel dreamscape and moved back up to the stars. That moment Billy was so much more than Greg had ever managed to succeed in being. Knowing Billy felt destined and planned, as if they had met before but couldn't recall their distant connection to each other. Understanding who Greg was never brought enchantment or strength, only deep distress.</p>
<p>Maybe the prom theme was fitting. </p>
<p>Finally the appeal of such a lackluster and overdone setting made complete sense. Imagining himself 'under the stars' entangled with Billy in a dance held appeal greater than anything else he could conceptualize thus far.</p>
<p>Now that he may have the capacity to accomplish sed dream he was ready for his leap of faith.</p>
<p>Standing from the bench he felt the wobble of trepidation. Kissing Billy was no easy task, nor was it one he could accomplish at this point but he had enough strength to ask for another daydream to transpire.</p>
<p>As soon as he was stable his hand fell down and opened in front of Billy, a gesture to grasp it and rely on him for brief assistance. Billy's long, thin hand briefly held in time, hesitant before it fully allowed itself to be grasped by his own. The contact was invigorating yet brief and once Billy got his footing he carefully released his grip.</p>
<p>"I wonder what grass tastes like." Teddy uttered in a hushed tone as their eyes met again.</p>
<p>Billy aroused in glorious, golden laughter as his hand flew to cover his mouth before he allowed his head to fall backward and continue his laughter a few seconds longer.</p>
<p>"I would have picked a different quote but I'm not you aren't I?" Billy asked beaming with the familiar grin that Teddy's mind had memorized.</p>
<p>"Was what you said a quote? I haven't seen it in a while." He questioned fraudulently.</p>
<p>"Unfortunately it wasn't but God bless what's his name." Billy said smoothly.</p>
<p>Teddy chuckled at that one.</p>
<p>Their exchanges flowed so elegantly that Teddy was having a hard time discerning how they were accomplishing it.</p>
<p>"So what, make fun of me for being in love with The Sound of Music then quote it to me?" Billy's sarcasm was evident, almost oozing from the statement since his grin hadn't fallen one bit.</p>
<p>"Maybe? Care to dance in the parking lot?" He asked, it came out raw and hushed, full of wavering uncertainty that could be heard incredibly clearly.</p>
<p>Those few seconds in between Billy's response had him on a Rollercoaster.</p>
<p>"I would rather it be a gazebo in the rain but it'll do." Billy whispered.</p>
<p>If any part of what was transpiring remained foggy in his mind it was all clear now. Billy was matching his advances in whit where he presumably was as frightened as Teddy in action.</p>
<p>God, it made his heart chest ache longingly to have Billy match his small advancements. </p>
<p>"I know I was the one to offer but I don't have a single clue how to dance." Teddy smiled as they moved to a vacant space of pavement.</p>
<p>"It might be hard but just let me lead." Billy said slowly as he grew closer to Teddy.</p>
<p>Billy took both his hands doubtfully, intertwined their fingers, and stood so close that their chests were inches from touching. It was sensory overload for Teddy made all the worse when Billy looked up from his feet to meet his study.</p>
<p>Leisurely Billy began small movements with his feet as Teddy attempted to follow as astutely as possible. Soon it was a few steps left then back then forward then repeat and Teddy got the rhythm instantly. </p>
<p>For a matter of uncountable minutes Teddy was lost as his gaze moved from his feet to Billy to the stars all at once in a dizzying frenzy, desperately trying to maintain his balance as they moved around steadily.</p>
<p>Gliding across the cool grey pavement of the parking lot with Billy was harder than it looked, the distraction of Billy’s beaming grin and his gorgeous face made it hard to stand steadily.</p>
<p>They both began to slow down until they came to a halt, Billy’s hands lost their tension and slipped out of his own leaving him with only a haunting of the sensation. Teddy stepped a pace away from Billy as they stopped and looked down at him, still dazed from the moment.</p>
<p>“Sorry we aren’t inside.” Teddy said apologetically.</p>
<p>“It’s cooler out here anyway.” Billy said quietly as his eyes moved from Teddy’s to the sky and Teddy caught the dazzling reflection in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the dance.” Teddy whispered, desperation to lean down still haunted him.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome.” </p>
<p>The moment dissipated, neither of them were brave enough to take any steps farther than where they had gone. The haze that had surrounded the moment left but the glow surrounding Billy, the pure angelic attraction remained bright as ever in the dark parking lot light.</p>
<p>Teddy distantly heard the hotel door open and he left the bubble he and Billy were surrounded by to look behind him.</p>
<p>Cassie was the first out the door and once her eyes landed on Teddy he could see the smile that grew larger when she noticed Billy adjacent to him.</p>
<p>She was the first to walk over, Billy taking a few steps back as she approached. Teddy solemnly mourned the loss of the closeness.</p>
<p>“You okay?” She asked with a smile.</p>
<p>“I’d say so.” Teddy said under his breath.</p>
<p>“Good, we’re going to hit the road. The grinding got a little out of hand in there plus most of the good snacks are gone. Ready to head to Kate’s?” </p>
<p>“I think so, you ready?” Teddy questioned as he looked back at Billy.</p>
<p>“I do like it out here but it’s a little cold.” Billy replied softly with a subtle grin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Poolside Connection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr - billykaplan-666</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lavish, polished marble flooring of Kate’s penthouse elevator lightly reflected his disheveled reflection as he looked down with wide eyes. </p>
<p>He felt like a zoo animal as Cassie kept looking back at him with a smile and would laugh occasionally when his eyes grew wider at anything that looked like it would be worth more than a car.</p>
<p>The elevator itself didn’t feel like it was moving at all as they made their way to the eleventh floor, apparently the twelfth and final floor was also owned by the Bishops but was more of a few rooms and a pool. It wasn’t exactly comforting knowing that there was a pool on the floor above them.</p>
<p>The elevator stopped and the reflective doors spliced open to reveal a Grande living room with every outward wall being windows that looked out onto the city skyline that glowed from the starlight and busy skyscraper lights surrounding them.</p>
<p>“Okay, you go show Teddy where to put all his stuff and we’ll meet back here.” Kate said tiredly as she pulled at the bobby pins in her hair.</p>
<p>He silently trailed a few steps behind Billy as his eyes wandered through the encompassing ‘hugeness’ of what was essentially a mansion in a skyscraper.</p>
<p>They made a few turns before arriving at the end of the hall with two doors on either side of the hall.</p>
<p>“I’m not sleeping with you, it’s bad enough we share a room every other day.” Tommy said with heavy snark as he opened the door on the left and lugged his bag through the door.</p>
<p>“I’ll take one for the team, you’re better friends with Teddy than I am.” Eli rolled his eyes and let out a sigh before entering the room Tommy had sauntered into.</p>
<p>Teddy could feel his blood getting warmer as it rushed to his cheeks, however he was busier trying to keep his imagination at bay for the moment and couldn’t stop the overt dusting of pink from growing.</p>
<p>“So, Kate’s guest rooms are basically hotel rooms. Two beds, one bathroom, and a very large closet.” Billy said faintly as they entered the room and he flipped the light switch revealing two very monstrous queen beds.</p>
<p>“Wow, this is better than a hotel.” Teddy whispered as he placed his bag onto the bed quietly and let himself sink into the best mattress he had ever felt.</p>
<p>“It would be, only problem is we don’t get pillow mints.” Billy smirked as he rummaged through his bag.</p>
<p>“How about I let you explore the bathroom, I’ll change in the closet.” Billy said as his careful hands picked up the pajamas he had set down lightly.</p>
<p>“Was that supposed to be a joke?” Teddy had to admit it was an awful joke but navigating a friendship with someone who was also gay was completely new. </p>
<p>“I have better than that.” Billy smiled brightly as he stepped into the closet and closed the door slowly behind him, Teddy heard the soft click of the lock and he rubbed his forehead in circles.</p>
<p>Teddy rummaged through the worn bag as he grabbed for his light grey v neck and shorts, Billy was definitely right about the bathroom which had a walk in shower, tub that could fit at least two people comfortably and a giant sink. </p>
<p>The large vanity showed a frumpy echoes of the Teddy he faintly remembered seeing before he left the house a good six hours earlier. The shoulders that had filled the suit jacket before now looked cowardly and the hair he had tried to fix was again a mess of waves and pieces that just jutted out. Above everything else he was red, sure the blush from earlier was dying down but he looked tired, exhausted, and overwhelmingly sorrowful. </p>
<p>He looked different and it didn’t sit right because for some reason he liked it better than the stoic figure he saw every morning and night. </p>
<p>He looked softer, different but not a regretful difference.</p>
<p>He stopped staring and flung his formal attire off of him folding it half heartedly on the ground and put on the pajamas, regretting the choice of shorts that only stopped halfway down his calves and that were clearly frayed and decaying. They didn’t mesh with the ostentatious nature of the estate.</p>
<p>He gathered the ball of second hand attire and cautiously opened the door to see Billy, plaid pajama pants and oversized tee sitting on the bed and zipping up his bag.</p>
<p>He crossed the room slowly and shoved the clothes haphazardly into his sack, taking out the half opened bag of peanut m&amp;ms in the process.</p>
<p>“Want some?” Teddy said as he let himself look at Billy for more than a glance again.</p>
<p>The clash of delicately placed hair that curled only slightly upwards at the end and long blue plaid pajama pants sent his heart on a journey as its speed picked up.</p>
<p>Even normal and most likely a little tired Billy radiated the same alluring energy that he had in a form fitted suit and right now it was making his hands clammy and throat dry, it was unsurprising to know that he saw Billy as more gorgeous than before.</p>
<p>He guessed it was the same reason he decided he himself looked better, more disheveled and weary that in an odd way made him more comfortable.</p>
<p>“I’m good for now.” Billy laughed softly as he tossed his bag onto the side of the bed.</p>
<p>“Ready to go?” Billy asked as he stood up.</p>
<p>“I guess.” He replied waveringly, longingly looking back at the bed, wishing to collapse and sleep.</p>
<p>Billy noticed the look he gave the guest bed and smiled timidly.</p>
<p>“You can stay and sleep if you want.” Billy flashed a bright smile this time and chuckled.</p>
<p>“Tempting but it’s probably more fun out there.”</p>
<p>“Maybe.” Billy beamed as he opened the door and ushered to let Teddy out first.</p>
<p>The rest of the night was loud and intensely new, Kate had turned on the TV but that had only managed to entertain the crowd for a little more than five minutes. Eventually fevered exhaustion took over most of them and they ended up in a pillow fight which turned into lying lazily on the floor which escalated into ‘let’s go swim’.</p>
<p>“I grabbed you a towel.” Cassie said, handing him the soft cloth that he swung over his neck as Cassie gripped all of her sandy blonde hair and pulled it through a hair tie.</p>
<p>“Thanks, good advice on bringing swim trunks.” He said quietly as he stepped further into the corner of the room, out of earshot from the rest of the group.</p>
<p>“It happens every time we come over.” Cass smiled.</p>
<p>“What happened outside?” she whispered looking over at Billy who had given up on dodging Tommy’s splashing, his hair was soaked and he had swept it all up and back.</p>
<p>“Nothing.” Teddy spoke softly, avoiding her trained gaze.</p>
<p>“Bullshit.”</p>
<p>“Well, I told him I was you know and then we danced. It was nothing.” Teddy rubbed the back of his head nervously.</p>
<p>“You danced with him.” she clearly wanted to yell but the bright shushed tone was enough to convey how excited she was.</p>
<p>“It was just dancing.” Speaking softly he could see Kate setting her towel on the nearest chair and tying her hair up like Cassie had.</p>
<p>“Mhm.” She rolled her eyes and smiled before landing a fist on his shoulder lightly.</p>
<p>“Go get ‘em tiger. Also be ready for the most competitive game of Marco polo ever.” </p>
<p>He laughed before rolling his eyes and throwing his towel on a chair. He chose to enter slowly into the water, shocked that it wasn’t cold at all but very comfortable before becoming another victim to Tommy’s tsunami of water.</p>
<p>“Stop splashing Tommy.” Kate said exasperatedly from her corner safe haven she chose to protect herself.</p>
<p>“You can’t say that to the reigning marco polo champion.” Tommy sassed.</p>
<p>“Hey, Teddy could take your crown. Want to find out?” Kate replied.</p>
<p>“No one but me is capable of wearing the crown.” </p>
<p>Tommy was very right about that. Teddy had managed to catch Cass and Eli but failed on everyone else. Tommy on the other hand wasted no time in using his unmatched speed to eliminate everyone in half the time Teddy had taken.</p>
<p>“I was hoping you could save us from his cruel monarchy.” Billy spoke as they waded quietly near a wall as Eli and Tommy took to racing back and forth. </p>
<p>“Sorry about that, how is he so good?” Teddy asked.</p>
<p>“He can hear everything and he used to swim competitively.” Billy said.</p>
<p>“I guess we’ll have to find some other way to displace him.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t come up with anything yet but I’m sure we can do it.” Billy said.</p>
<p>Comfortable silence fell between them but Teddy was aching to fill it with questions that kept buzzing around annoyingly through his head. Desperately he wished he could ask how everything was, where they were heading, where they would end up. He wished to learn whether Billy felt the hopeless call to come together and kiss, give Teddy his first ever. Cassie's voice broke the silence of Teddy's 'space out' and he jumped a little as he looked over at her.</p>
<p>"I'm way too tired to keep wading, me and Kate are going to go to bed." She spoke softly from her place on the marble tiling, water dripping as she stood still.</p>
<p>"Okay, mind if I stay a little longer?" Teddy asked quietly, eyes flashing to Kate then back to Cassie.</p>
<p>"I could care less, you have fun Teddy bear." Cassie said jokingly as she stood back up fully and winked at him quickly before her grin broke further into a large smile.</p>
<p>"I hate you so much." He said tiredly.</p>
<p>"Remember to be up early tomorrow. Free breakfast." Cassie said with a wave before they left out the large glass door.</p>
<p>“Teddy bear?” Billy laughed.</p>
<p>“I’m going to swim away.” He replied, cheeks hot as he moved a little farther from Billy.</p>
<p>He didn’t want to get out, floating in the warm water was more relaxing than anything that had happened the whole night. All of the Greg freak-outs, anxiety about his suit, near heart attacks in relation to Billy and his stupidly handsome self all melted away as he cleared his mind and waded.</p>
<p>“It’s already twelve loser, we’re hitting the hay.” He heard Tommy yell from the other side of the pool.</p>
<p>The harsh, wet slap of feet on tile and soft dripping of water were faint as he closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. Billy said a muffled goodbye and Teddy opened his eyes and waved to Eli as he left garnering a small smile and a wave back.</p>
<p>This was it, the echoes of the pool filter and the soft lapping of tiny waves and the dripping of water surrounded them in the large room. He turned to see Billy who hadn’t made any noise since Eli and Tommy had left, he only looked on at Teddy with a soft smile that had his heart jumping and crying out. They both were naked from the torso up and Teddy had been fighting the whole time to keep his eyes focused on Billy’s eyes but now he had let his gaze linger on the lean, faint muscles of his arms and abdomen. He wasn’t ripped but he knew Billy could handle any challenge you could put him through, he wasn’t weak. That thought had connected with another sorrowful one that had always lingered when Billy reappeared in his mind.</p>
<p>“I, did Kessler ever hurt you? Worse than the black eye?” Teddy said suddenly, realizing how sensitive the question was only once he had uttered it and it sat there oppressively as Billy bit his lip and moved his eyes to one of the large pool chairs.</p>
<p>“Worse some of the time, not often though.” Billy was tense, his chest looked heavy and weighed down by the discussion.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” His own eyes had moved down to his feet as they kicked lightly in the water.</p>
<p>“Don’t be, please.” That one had echoed through the room this time, loud enough to surround him.</p>
<p>“I am. I never stopped him.” Teddy forced his eyes back up at Billy, regretting his earlier shyness toward the whole situation. Billy deserved more than timid revelations of consolation.</p>
<p>“You couldn’t have. Besides, like you said earlier Greg had you wrapped around his finger.”</p>
<p>It was more ghoulish to hear that come from someone aside from himself, to understand that he wasn’t the only one that knew how easily captured and swayed he had been.</p>
<p>“He definitely did a lot to me. I guess he’s still mixed in with me somehow, part of me I can’t seem to get rid of.” Teddy huffed and exasperated breath.</p>
<p>“No, I might have known simple things about you before today but I feel like I know you now.” </p>
<p>He felt an onslaught of warmth, it felt like when he had confided in Cassie when the leaves had just started falling and the air was already cold. Talking had always solved lots of his problems, it’s why Mary-Jo Altman always pushed to ask about anything and everything, she knew it helped. Now it was mildly hot and the world was more confusing and chaotic than before but Billy felt like another anchor to keep him here, to help him hold on.</p>
<p>“He changed me, it’s hard to be comfortable about a lot of things now I guess.” </p>
<p>“Like being gay?” Billy replied in a low voice, like the entire world would hear if he spoke louder.</p>
<p>Teddy swallowed anxiously, especially the whole ‘gay thing’.</p>
<p>“I still can’t really say it. I did those stupid exercises from some book my mom bought me. You’re supposed to stand in front of the mirror and repeat some mantra about how being gay is okay. It never really worked, you probably have to believe it will.” Teddy rambled.</p>
<p>“That’s definitely a therapist move. Rebecca Kaplan would commend your effort and probably recommend something else. I think it’s always hard to push yourself over that cliff.” </p>
<p>“Now you sound like a therapist.” Teddy laughed defeatedly.</p>
<p>“When you started tagging along with us I thought you and Cassie were a thing and you’d eventually find out the rumors were true and pummel me.”</p>
<p>“That’s disheartening.” Teddy replied sadly.</p>
<p>“No. I promise I didn’t mean for it to sound like that I just meant that I thought Teddy Altman was this big douchebag sportsball player who didn’t talk to people like me or understand anything I had been through. It’s weird to realize that he had the same problems I did. He isn’t just some scary figurehead anymore. He’s you, know what I mean?” Billy replied anxiously, stepping over his words a bit as they all rushed out of him.</p>
<p>“I know what you mean. I always thought Billy Kaplan was this stupidly brave kid who was just like me except he had the courage to be himself. It’s weird to know him now. Know that he likes blue and red and he always wears mismatched socks because he can never find a pair.” Teddy smiled timidly at him as the words flew out.</p>
<p>“Hey, mismatched socks are fun.” Billy voiced.</p>
<p>Teddy laughed quietly and sensed that insatiable urge to sweep Billy up in a kiss overcome him again. He didn’t want it here though, not in Kate’s pool at midnight. Still worse, he couldn’t just assume that Billy would enjoy kissing him, maybe he’d mistake it as an exhausted error, which it wasn’t.</p>
<p>“Now that we’ve divulged all of our problems how about we go back. I’m getting a little too pruny.” Billy said as he examined the wrinkles on his fingers and swam over to the ladder near Teddy.</p>
<p>“So, are the pancakes any good?” Teddy asked as he climbed out of the pool himself.</p>
<p>“Too good to describe.” Billy remarked as his smile widened and Teddy felt himself swoon again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Teenage Deliquency</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr - billykaplan-666</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ham and cheese sandwiches were never a first choice, or frankly a choice he wanted to make but rummaging through the fridge in a daze instead of packing the night before had consequences. Frenzied discussion about graduation and Teddy had chosen to eat in rather stagnant self inflicted silence, if prom was any indicator graduation wasn’t anything he wanted to be looking forward to. Of course his mother had conflicting plans and insisted he pick up his cap and gown because she would be dragging him there herself.</p>
<p>One week ‘til graduation, the end of senior breeziness and easiness. End of simplicity and now he’s have to deal with the daunting prospect of an art career at NYU. </p>
<p>So yes, he was going to be savoring his last two weeks and the entirety of the summer as best he could.</p>
<p>The bell rang and brought him back from distant fears and prospects as the rest of the table was imparting their goodbyes, to which Teddy smiled warmly and replied to everyone.</p>
<p>The table was clear as Billy hoisted his bag on his shoulders and Teddy picked up his stacks of notebooks and folders.</p>
<p>“Hey, since it’s Wednesday want to go pick up pulls once you get out?” Billy asked softly as he tilted up his magnificently carved jaw to lock eyes with Teddy.</p>
<p>“That’s like three hours, I wouldn’t make you go home then come back.” Teddy smiled, embarrassed by the thought of Billy paying triple his subway money just to wait for him.</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t want to lead in with it but how about you skip the rest of the day and come with me.” Billy’s confidence wavered at the suggestion, he was probably waiting to be let down.</p>
<p>“As long as we get lunch, the ham sandwich didn’t really satisfy me.” Teddy replied quietly, others wicking past them as they stood frozen at the abandoned lunch table.</p>
<p>“Deal, well lead me to your locker then we got to pick up the pace.” Billy chuckled.</p>
<p>The secretary on duty clearly didn’t care about who was leaving and only gave a passing glance as Billy waved at her and Teddy worried that would bring unnecessary attention to them. She had only smiled and waved back before returning her attention to the piles of papers stacked high.</p>
<p>“That was easier than I thought it would ever be.” Teddy said above the sound of their feet on the stairs combined with the rushing of cars and general New York bustle.</p>
<p>“Oh. Shelly never really cares about skippers.” Billy replied, smirk playing on his lips beautifully.</p>
<p>“Good to know, I’m glad I waited until my last two weeks as a senior to find that out.” Teddy joked.</p>
<p>Teddy was almost tripping over every dent in the curb as he kept himself pulled together best he could. Trying to keep his feet in order, look at Billy without splitting into a dorkish grin, and hold up the conversation had him dizzy, ready to move out of the sun beaten sidewalk. </p>
<p>“Do you actually think the Avengers issue is going to be with picking up?” He asked Billy comically.</p>
<p>“Not at all but you have to try.” Billy replied laughing.</p>
<p>Once the store was right in front of them Teddy gently pulled the door open for Billy who smiled and flushed lightly as he stepped in shyly. Billy moved through the stacks and mazes of racks and tables smoothly, clearly he had memorized a lot of the layout. Teddy’s eyes moved across all the brightly illustrated covers of Captain America punching the Red Skull and the Scarlet Witch fighting with Doctor Doom. </p>
<p>“I know I said I was a sucker for the human torch but Doctor Doom may be in the running.” He let the sarcastic remark roll of his tongue and heard a snicker from close by as Billy moved comics on the shelving units.</p>
<p>“God no. How about Wolverine?” Billy asked, equally as sarcastic.</p>
<p>“He’s definitely too quick to kill.” Teddy replied warmly smiling as he inched closer to where Billy was crouched.</p>
<p>“You are very right about that.” Billy stated, standing up and brushing the fallen hair out of his eyes.</p>
<p>“We’ll see if this is worth three dollars, ready to go?” Billy asked.</p>
<p>“Yep, all set.”</p>
<p>Billy quietly avoided eye contact with the cashier as he handed over the cash, Teddy on the other hand started a little small talk and said thank you once they were finished, to which Billy chimed in quietly. It was even hotter when the stepped out and the problem was it felt like it was only getting even more humid as the day went on.</p>
<p>“Where to, I won’t make this another deep dish pizza situation, as long as I can eat something kosher I’m down to get anything.” Billy said as they moved to the shade of the store awning.</p>
<p>“I’m not good with anything around here, want to lead the way?” </p>
<p>“I was hoping you’d let me take control.” Billy laughed.</p>
<p>Billy tucked the thin brown bag carefully into his bag before leading Teddy across the street and down a few steps, a couple turns and while Teddy was trying to mentally understand where they were, and failing miserably, Billy stopped abruptly and Teddy almost knocked into him. </p>
<p>“Here we are.” Billy said brightly, turning towards the deli.</p>
<p>“And, it’s a deli?” Teddy asked grinning.</p>
<p>“Don’t underestimate me, best Cannoli’s in like twenty miles, aside from my Bubby's. Also I like their Italian subs. Please don’t tell me you don’t like subs.” Billy pleaded.</p>
<p>“No, no. I do.” Teddy laughed as they walked in.</p>
<p>Once in line Teddy marveled at the large deli counter and menu as Billy looked from him to the counter eagerly. Billy quickly asked for an Italian and five cannoli’s before clearing the way for Teddy who messily ordered a Pastrami before changing to a Capicola. </p>
<p>Teddy fished out his wallet as they both walked to the register and Billy pulled out twenty, enough for both of them, and quickly asked to add their totals. Teddy shook his head and smiled nervously as Billy quietly said ‘no’ under his breath and handed over the twenty.</p>
<p>They both walked to the counter behind the window and sat slowly.</p>
<p>“I could’ve gotten my sub.” Teddy said nervously.</p>
<p>“I know. Listen, I was the one who told you to skip. Besides you’re technically my guest on our adventure.”</p>
<p>“Was that a Bill and Ted reference?” Teddy laughed lightly.</p>
<p>“Come on, of course it was.” Billy joined Teddy in quiet laughter before getting up quickly to get their subs.</p>
<p>For seven a sub they were both huge and packed with as much filling as possible but also as good as Billy had made them out to be.</p>
<p>“These are good.” Teddy wiped away some sauce on his mouth with a dab of his napkin.</p>
<p>“Thanks for having faith. Wait until the cannoli’s you idiot.” Billy spoke through all the sub in his mouth.</p>
<p>“So, do you like having brothers?” Teddy asked.</p>
<p>“Of course, but there are also times when having little kids pull open the bathroom door and sneeze on you get old. Having a twin is the best and the worst, Tommy’s always there and also he is always there.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m guessing Tommy isn’t fun to live with.” Teddy laughed.</p>
<p>“He keeps flip flopping on whether he wants to go to Kate’s grad party, thinks he’ll be too embarrassed. Please never tell him I told you that.” </p>
<p>“Still weird love triangle stuff?” Teddy asked carefully.</p>
<p>“Of course, it always is. Kate has been so lost in them both she’s been so distant the last like five months. I love her but she’s stringing them both along.” Billy said as he rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Sorry.” Teddy apologized quietly.</p>
<p>“Don’t be, it’s just weird. She’s off in her own world. I just wanted more time together before NYU.” Billy said glumly.</p>
<p>“I get that.” Teddy replied.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I wasn't trying to bring the mood down. Now, Cannoli?”</p>
<p> “Yes please.” Teddy chuckled.</p>
<p>Billy very ungracefully shoved half of the dessert in his mouth and almost choked when Teddy laughed at him which sent him into his own muffled laughter morphed into coughing. Cannoli’s and almost choking aside Teddy was having a lot of fun aside from the growing affection for Billy and his yearning to kiss him at every moment. Yeah, totally cool.</p>
<p>Humidity had bumped up and once they got out again Billy unzipped his hoodie to reveal a Return of the Jedi shirt which Teddy smiled at garnering an eye roll from Billy. The shirt was obviously a little tight and short since he kept adjusting it and pulling it down which always accidentally gave Teddy a clear peak at a little of the top of his chest since it was again, like most of Billy’s shirts, a v neck. They had descended down the subway escalator and swiped cards before stopping at the stairwell.</p>
<p>“Well, I got to go north, you?” Billy asked timidly.</p>
<p>“West on the B.” Teddy said, looking above them at the soft flickering of the dying light bulb.</p>
<p>“Either we part ways or you could come with me, keep the adventure going?” Billy said, his eyes moved past Teddy to the wall directly behind him.</p>
<p>“As long as it’s okay, could I tag along?” Teddy asked, realizing how hard it was to hold eye contact, he didn’t blame Billy for fixating on the wall behind him.</p>
<p>“I was the one who offered dumbass.” Billy laughed, turning quickly and monitoring for Teddy to follow as he picked up pace racing down the stairs and leaving Teddy to hurry after him.</p>
<p>The ride had been a lot less quiet than Teddy predicted. Billy seemed almost rejuvenated by Teddy’s acceptance of his proposition and was ready to joke as much as possible, though Teddy sensed a little of it was nervousness from something unknown.</p>
<p>“This is it.” Billy said, a bit out of breath from the few blocks they walked after the subway let them off.</p>
<p>“Wow.” Teddy marveled at the three-story red brick, thin house in front of him. It wasn’t huge but was definitely at least three times the size of his own apartment, although six people needed allot more space than two.</p>
<p>“Don’t say wow. I had no part in this, all paid for by therapy money and cardiology.” Billy laughed as they walked up the small cement stairs.</p>
<p>“They are not home yet but the devils will be and so will Tommy, be careful.” Billy said seriously as Billy jammed his key into the large wooden door.</p>
<p>“Also, you can keep your shoes on if you want.” Billy smiled slightly as he walked in and held the door for Teddy.</p>
<p>“God, you’re home finally, make us dinner.” He distantly heard Tommy yell from another room.</p>
<p>“It’s three.” Billy said tiredly, moving down the hallway, Teddy followed a few paces behind.</p>
<p>Baby pictures and family or class pictures were arranged perfectly on either side of the wall, he stopped slowly at the freshman or sophomore picture of Billy, he recognized that kid distantly. Billy had gotten taller and gained a bit more muscle over the years and his jaw was more defined, but Teddy could still tell why he had been mysteriously drawn to Billy every time he glanced his way in the hallway.</p>
<p>“That doesn’t mean we’re not hungry.” Tommy whined, Teddy realized that he had stopped for too long and hurried a few steps forward to catch up before Billy saw him lingering.</p>
<p>“Shut up.” Billy replied as he set his bag down on the table and looked at Teddy behind him.</p>
<p>He saw Tommy as soon as he left the hallway, perched on the couch, remote in hand, no shirt, flipping through the channels as he turned back to Billy, eyes widening a bit when he saw Teddy. Teddy was briefly embarrassed and looked away as Tommy grabbed his shirt.</p>
<p>“God, you didn’t tell me Teddy was coming!”</p>
<p>“I didn’t think you’d be jerking off on the couch.” Billy said with a huff as he turned to Teddy and mouthed sorry.</p>
<p>“That wasn’t what was happening!” Tommy yelled as he walked over and moved to the pantry near the fridge before walking past, tongue stuck out at Billy, returning to his place.</p>
<p>“Sorry, again” Billy sighed.</p>
<p>“That was pretty on par for Tommy.” Teddy smiled and Billy rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Well, the parents should be here in an hour or two, how about we go to my room?” Billy asked.</p>
<p>“Sounds like a good idea.”</p>
<p>“Remember, don’t lock the door. Not that you’ll be doing anything, Teddy has more self-respect than that.” Tommy said absently from his space on the couch, muffled by chips.</p>
<p>Teddy felt the skin crawling feeling of flush and slight arousal at the suggestion. He spread his lips thin as he internally begged the flushing to die down so he could keep some sense of ambiguity or dignity when it came to Billy.</p>
<p>“Fuck off.” Billy half yelled as he led Teddy up the stairs.</p>
<p>“I’d apologize again but you know.”</p>
<p>Teddy flashed a smile and kept moving up the staircase before they both turned and stopped at an average sized wooden door.</p>
<p>“Half of everything is Tommy’s so I can’t explain everything.” Billy remarked as he popped open the door.</p>
<p>Teddy smiled at the joke and skittishly rushed into the room when he realized Billy was waiting for him to enter first. </p>
<p>Teddy passed his eyes around the room, it became clear quickly that the room was very much a jumbled mix of Tommy and Billy’s interests. In the corner was a small wooden desk with a stack of comics and binders, on the wall in front of it was a vintage style Cap poster. All of the nerdier decor objects were presented neatly and in frames and hung squarely and straight while indie rock posters and swimming and running trophies were haphazardly thrown on hooks or shelves.</p>
<p>“Christ, that’s a big shelf.” Teddy said as he walked up to the shelf of tightly packed comics, all in plastic sleeves, at least a hundred issues were crammed into it.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to brag but I have like three more boxes, it’s too much.” Billy laughed.</p>
<p>“I see someone does like Johnny Storm.” Teddy sided playfully as he moved slowly to another shelf of figures.</p>
<p>“I never said I didn’t, he’s just not up there on the list.” Billy chuckled as he sat down slowly on the bottom tier of the bunk bed.</p>
<p>“I can see Cap fills that spot.” </p>
<p>“Come on he’s tall, he punches Nazis, and he’s blonde.” Billy said before a silence fell over them.</p>
<p>Teddy lost his mind. He didn’t have any power left to divert to responding to what Billy had said, his words only rang quietly as he stood determined to keep his back turned as long as he could. It felt like someone had taken a ray gun to Teddy’s mind, just melted it completely as he stood there frozen.</p>
<p>“Why don’t we just get to reading.” Billy said, his words were rushed and hoarse.</p>
<p>“As long as I get to read Avengers first.” Teddy responded, pulling himself back to before Billy had decided to ruin his mind.</p>
<p>“Deal.”</p>
<p>It was quiet for the next hour, only slight back and forth as they switched comics or talked about how Tony Stark should give his mega millions to charity instead of making mech suits and creating Ultron. </p>
<p>Abruptly in the middle of an absent conversation about photography, specifically how Billy had broken a camera his first week into photo one and never taken the class again. Muffled sounds of footsteps and conversation came from downstairs before Billy stopped talking and listened.</p>
<p>“Ugh, Well everyone’s home. You can stay for dinner but if you don’t want to, I'll have to sneak you out.”</p>
<p>Billy was waiting on the floor a few feet from Teddy, waiting for his answer as Teddy pondered while tracing his face and trying to stop yearning for everything and anything, even just to touch his hand for a second, more than just a passing mistake or feeling.</p>
<p>“I’d say I don’t need to watch Tommy eat.” </p>
<p>“Good call, now be as quiet as possible while you follow me, and it’ll be all good.” </p>
<p>Teddy grabbed his bag from the floor and followed Billy as he moved silently through the doorway and down the stairs, they were in the home stretch Billy turning the front door lock when a voice echoed through the entryway.</p>
<p>“Billy, where are you going?” the voice asked, and he saw Billy roll his eyes before turning and Teddy decided it was best to do the same.</p>
<p>“Just letting Teddy out.” Billy said, it was a different Billy. A lot more calculated in his speech and mannerisms.</p>
<p>“Are you sure, he’s welcomes to stay. Is this the Teddy you and Tommy talk about?” </p>
<p>The woman had walked down the hall and was standing feet from them. For lack of any other term she was incredibly intimidating, square shoulders emphasized her near perfect posture complimented by shoulder length brown hair and thin glasses perched perfectly on the bridge of her nose. </p>
<p>“Yes. Mom this is Teddy, Teddy this is my mom.” Billy was very unenthusiastic in his introduction.</p>
<p>“Such a pleasure to meet you, you can call me Rebecca.” She said as her hand stuck out coolly from her side and Teddy took it gently to shake.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Rebecca, it was good to meet you too.” His wide grin was almost as false as Billy’s attitude. Meeting the mother of the person he wanted to hold and kiss and do lots of other things with that he never ever wanted her to have to hear about made it harder to breathe.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you so sweet. Well we’re going to be having dinner in an hour or two if you’d like to stay?” She seemed like it wasn’t a question, it was welcoming but also very professional.</p>
<p>“I’ve got to get going, mom likes to have dinner with me otherwise she says it’s too lonely. Thank you very much for the offer though, maybe another day.” He replied, smiling even brighter than before.</p>
<p>“Of course, anytime! It’s great to see Billy making new friends. You have a good day!” </p>
<p>Billy let out an audible sigh from his side.</p>
<p>“You too, thank you again.”</p>
<p>“Of course!” She replied happily before giving Billy a look and turning to walk down the hall she had entered from.</p>
<p>Billy opened the door quickly once she was out of earshot and Teddy walked out quickly followed by Billy who shut it carefully behind him.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry.” He laughed, Teddy was right in front of him so his shadow was mostly blocking Billy from the sun, but still golden light reached the top of his forehead and hair casting an enchanting glow.</p>
<p>“She was nice. A little scary but nice.” Teddy joked.</p>
<p>“Ugh, she’s the worst sometimes.”</p>
<p>“I actually do have to go, I wasn’t joking about the mom thing.” Teddy laughed quietly as his left arm gripped his bag, the other was shoved in his pocket, only making it clammier.</p>
<p>“Well, tell her I said hi. Oh, um I was going to ask but we’re going for dinner after graduation next week, would you want to come. Your mom can come of course.” Billy spit out the sentence at lightning speed and it took Teddy a few seconds to catch up.</p>
<p>“That sounds great, I’ll uh see what she says.” God, the combined heat and the soft glow of Billy and his features in the shade made it hard to think or at least control the cold nervousness he felt.</p>
<p>“No pressure.” Billy said coolly.</p>
<p>“I know, see you tomorrow. Thanks for inviting me to skip you delinquent.” Teddy smiled genuinely down at Billy.</p>
<p>“Hey, you’re the one that had class, I was just enjoying my afternoon.” Billy retorted.</p>
<p>“Asshole.” Teddy spit out sarcastically.</p>
<p>“I am.” Billy grinned and Teddy knew they could keep going forever but he had to cut it short before he had more thoughts of how soft Billy’s lips would be and how easily he could pull him in and softly hold him, even in just a hug.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you.” </p>
<p>“Bye.” Billy replied as Teddy lightly moved down the stairs and turned back to smile at Billy as he opened his front door, giving a timid wave to which Billy smiled brighter back at him.</p>
<p>Riding the subway home and keeping his thoughts contained to the playlist on his iPod shuffle was difficult to manage but somehow he made it back to the apartment and let out a breath before turning the door handle.</p>
<p>“Someone decided to come home I see.” Her light tone echoed through the hallway and he rolled his eyes playfully as he took his shoes off.</p>
<p>“I can’t let you eat alone.” He joked back.</p>
<p>“I am not some ninety year old in danger of dying any time Teddy.” </p>
<p>“You sure?” He laughed, walking to the table to hug her quickly.</p>
<p>“I’m more worried about you dear, got a call saying my jailbird skipped today.” She responded, not angry at all, her tone was more in the range of concern.</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“Please tell me you weren’t off doing drugs or throwing rocks at cars, or something.”</p>
<p>“No drugs, I didn’t know people still threw rocks at cars though.” He smiled stupidly down at her as she gave him a look of false disdain.</p>
<p>“Can you tell me where you were then?” </p>
<p>“I just left a little early with a friend.”</p>
<p>“Cassie? She’s not one for skipping is she?” She knew what she was doing, knew that whoever it was it was either bad news or something to talk to him about for the next millennia.</p>
<p>“No, it was Billy. He was in Kate's group we went to prom with.”</p>
<p>“Billy is?” She had a shit eating grin and her eyes were narrowed at him.</p>
<p>“A friend.”</p>
<p>“A guy friend?” </p>
<p>“Yes.” He was nervous again but something still compelled him to keep going as she paused her questioning. He wanted to share with her, to let her know. She was his best friend, she would find out sooner or later anyway.</p>
<p>“I might maybe want him to be more than just a friend.” He said shyly, his face was red and he wanted to hide but it still felt nice to tell her without her asking about it.</p>
<p>“Teddy!” She partly yelled as she swung an arm around him and pulled him into a half hug.</p>
<p>“So does he know?”</p>
<p>“That I like him, I don’t know. He knows I’m gay, he is too.”</p>
<p>“That’s a good start. What's he like?”</p>
<p>“He’s nice.”</p>
<p>“Nice! That’s the best you got!” She said laughing a little.</p>
<p>“Well, he likes comics and he’s sweet and shorter than me.” </p>
<p>“Invite him over!” She yelled excitedly.</p>
<p>“Not with how excited you are.” </p>
<p>“I am not excited, just happy for you baby.” She squeezed him a little.</p>
<p>“He did invite us to go eat with him and his family after graduation.” He said quietly.</p>
<p>“We’re going.” She replied hurriedly as she swung her other arm around him and made it a real hug, squeezing him again as she kissed his head warmly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Graduation Blues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr - billykaplan-666</p>
<p>Can not wait for you to have the next and final chapter. I'm really going to miss uploading though and I really want to thank everyone who's been reading and enjoying!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their teal, shimmery satin caps and gowns were bright in the afternoon sun as they all stood impatiently in a line, completely unorganized and messy, arranged by height as the photographer made an earnest effort to fit them all in fame. The front of the school wasn’t incredibly bright but sunny enough that it would be an adequate picture to hang in some hallway somewhere without looking too dark and dreary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had naturally taken the side back of the picture, Kate had taken the spot in front of him, Billy next to her. Eli was nearby but had gotten lost in the jumble and Tommy had split as soon as they all congratulated each other, Billy said he would pop up again once the ceremony started.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If they make us smile for any longer I’m just putting my sunglasses on and flipping off the camera.” Kate spoke harshly through her teeth, holding the perfect smile fixed to her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m just hoping he doesn’t try to make us take a goofy picture.” Teddy said quietly only loud enough for the two to make out, like Kate he tried his best not to shift the smile on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh, I never know what to do, what the hell constitutes goofy.” Billy said, he had let his smile drop and looked up at Teddy as he exaggeratedly rolled his eyes for Teddy before smiling as large and fake as he could.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Teddy chuckled a little best he could and turned back as he was blinded by another flash.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The last week had been absolutely chaotic, finals had finally finished and Kate had invited him to her graduation party only three days from now, leaving him with only a week to scrounge up gifts. The obvious answer was to paint something, he asked Cassie for a picture of Kate and he had painted her on a small canvas, the pose was silly enough to be a goofy gift, just an average picture where she had pulled her hair in a ponytail and stuck her tongue out for the camera. He found a joke card for Tommy and filled it with twenty dollars, he thought of doing the same for Eli before he came across an NYU blanket which fit more as a gift he supposed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Billy’s gift had been a whole other monster to tackle and Teddy still hadn’t finished. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At first he had decided on a watercolor of the Scarlet Witch which had gone surprisingly well but then he thought he should make it more personal. He then decided to buy Billy a card to go along with it, in which he had written long and frankly too detailed sentences about how Billy was a good friend. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That hadn’t been enough for Teddy apparently because then he decided like Kate’s present he would paint Billy but instead of awkwardly asking for his picture Teddy would just paint it from memory. He had only finished half of it and was alarmed by how similar to Billy it really was which raised another concern of the gist possibly being creepy. He pushed all those thoughts away and had continued to attempt some realism before he decided an abstract color palette would be more interesting. Overall he was incredibly scared since he now had three gifts for Billy that ranged from cool to what he felt was obsessive to the level of a significant other which was what Teddy wanted but still it might not be what Billy wanted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was all just too confusing for him at the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So he decided to try and just empty his mind of all those concerns as he put the fake smile back on, letting the sound of shuffling feet, cars, and general bustle comfort him as it always did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He instead decided to focus on how concerned his mom had been this morning, she had taken off for the first time in at least four months and had continually asked him how her outfit looked before changing it seven more times. Then it moved to hair to which she did the same and Teddy complimented her each time before she went back and changed it. The eventual result was a bun with her front bangs parted in the middle and left down to cover the sides of her face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She then complained that she’d have to keep her hair the same for a whole eight hours, which would definitely result in a little pain and discomfort eventually.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They rode the subway to school together for the first time in four years and he would be lying very poorly if he said that he wasn’t ready to cry as she held his hand lightly the whole time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eventually he left her to get situated and mingle with Kate’s dad while he looked for Billy and Tommy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With the matching caps and gowns the two looked a lot more like twins than usual, and Billy’s mother had showered him with compliments and praise once they met again, Billy rolled his eyes playfully as she rattled on about how fast her kids had grown up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Teddy had been so anxious to bring them over to his mom when Billy’s parents had asked and his heart was in his throat the whole way until he tapped on her shoulder and she turned, smiling as beautifully as she always did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>God, the way Mrs. Kaplan instantly started complimenting her and they went on and on about their kids before his mom turned to Billy and greeted him, eyes kept flickering to Teddy as she talked to Billy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had done a lot, first she hugged all of the Kaplans except their father, she insisted on them calling her Mary-Jo and had kept going on about how handsome Billy and Tommy looked in their caps and gowns.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had, like she wanted, instantly cemented herself as the ‘cool mom’ which she had been so excited about after Teddy told her that Mrs. Kaplan was a little formal in her mannerisms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Teddy, your mom is amazing by the way.” Kate said as they waited in the back of the group while the different groups and clubs got their pictures.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh god, she would absolutely love to hear you say that.” He chuckled and smiled timidly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s right. I want another hug.” Billy laughed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Teddy laughed lightly as he adjusted the way the flowing teal gown sat over his dress shirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eli had found them a few minutes after the crowd started filing back inside for the ceremony, he immediately took Kate’s hand as the four stood in a small circle while the mob tried to press through the doors to the school. Jealousy ran deep through Teddy the longer they stood there. He was bitter and he felt like Tommy, apart from the fact that they would both be angered a little for different reasons. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Teddy was happy for them but he could lie and say that the affection didn’t bother him, he wanted that. In fact that was the least of what he wanted, sure they may be a little scared to show their affection but that would pale in comparison to Teddy who would be riddled with anxiety. If he could hold someone's hand so publicly, the thought of ridicule, disgust, and hatred would only run through his mind preventing him from thinking about the affection attached to such a basic action. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as he thought longer though he realized that maybe you would have to experience it to truly understand how it felt. Being so close to someone, connected might make it easier to just forget about the rest of the world. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe he was just delirious, high on the thought of showing Billy basic affection, the mere daydreams of which invariably sent shivers through Teddy’s whole body.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, guessing Tommy left to avoid that.” Teddy whispered as he leaned down toward Billy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The line had moved far enough that Kate and Eli’s backs were towards them as they walked in a slow pace towards the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Exactly, I didn’t want to really talk about it but yep.” Billy sighed, obviously he had most likely heard Tommy complain or vent about this more than a few times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was then when the wind moved a little stronger as Teddy was starting to stand straight again that he caught the lingering of cologne on Billy. It couldn’t be detected unless he was a few inches from Billy but it still lingered. It was light and inoffensive yet still left it’s mark. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you wearing cologne?” Teddy struggled to ask in a normal voice that didn’t reveal any infatuation with the thought of Billy, shirtless applying cologne. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fuck was he thankful for the gowns now, his dress pants were a little tighter and he flushed brightly. Billy turned quickly towards him and looked vacantly,face traced with what Teddy could tell was a little shock before he smiled meekly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it was a little grad present from my dad .” He spoke faintly as the nervous smile dissipated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s nice.” Teddy said, even more faint-hearted than Billy’s reply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Billy opened his mouth and shut it quickly as a faint flush spread over his whole face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you.” Billy choked out before turning away from Teddy’s gaze hurriedly and fixing his tie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Teddy took one last deep breath of fresh air before walking through the doors, the last one in. The hall was mostly empty except for lingering underclassmen, Kate, Eli and Billy who was watching him intently as he shut the door quietly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He smiled and lingered on the door handle, before letting his grip go and walking slowly to Billy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fuck waiting, fuck lingering and wondering what this was, he was going to take the leap for once and stand in the face of every douchebag who muttered faggot under their breath, or glared sideways at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I hold your hand?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The words came out in garbled mush and his face was as hot as ever but he asked anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um.” Billy squeaked, eyes wide.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry!” Teddy yelped as soon as he saw Billy’s expression, he desperately wanted to run away as soon as he realized this might be the stupidest idea he’s ever had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked down the hallway quickly, the rest of the crowd had nearly funneled down the left and he wanted to run as fast as he could to catch up, run away from his mistake. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His feet were ready to bolt before a gentle tug held him steady, his whole mind went blank suddenly as if it had all been wiped clean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The small, slender and warm hand gripped his best it could and Teddy felt his own hand distantly clasp onto it. Breathing was a distant worry as he tried not to crush Billy’s hand in glee or anxiety, it was all a jumble right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked down at Billy and struggled to keep a face that didn’t absolutely look insane. Billy on the other hand only smiled timidly when he saw Teddy and didn’t look like he was about to be crushed by the weight of his own thoughts and fears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They started walking slowly down the hallway and his mind was numb as he focused on how Billy’s hand was soft and slender but his fingers were still long and bony. He focused on how their footsteps weren’t exactly in time but they were both trying to match each other and he felt somehow like Billy could feel how crazy and new and wonderful it was. Then they were turning the corner and the crowd was back in sight, funneling into the door to the gymnasium and the beating in his heart increased speed rapidly like some car tumbling down a hill. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Billy had obviously taken notice and had lessened his grip as it to tell Teddy it was okay to let go but he didn’t want to, not yet at least. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kate, preoccupied with holding Eli’s hand, turned back to see Billy and him standing awkwardly down at the end of the hall. Her eyes flickered down then to Billy and she smiled at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once she turned back and the doors were almost clear of hormonal greaseballs he let go of Billy’s hand and the sinking feeling of coming down from his high of attraction set in. He could feel the whisper of something lingering on his hand as he carefully moved it back to his side desperate to reignite the touch he had lost.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not to be an awful mom but they already called you. Can we go?” She whispered from his side as he clutched the scroll tied by a ribbon and his manilla folder holding his diploma. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re so impatient.” He whispered as he leaned closer to her and laughed lightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, I can wait. How were pictures?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good.” He said plainly as he clapped absently for someone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you excited?" She smiled boldly as she whispered into his ear, warm and comforting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"To leave? Absolutely." He rebuttled with a chuckle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Formalities continued for another hour at least before they were finally freed from the incredibly mind numbing ceremony. Teddy skipped out on the stale sugar cookies shaped like grad caps as they walked out with the Kaplans, all of them seemed to be on the same page which was to leave as quickly as possible and thank god for that. The crowds were clumping once they got out into the sunlight and Rebecca had briefly stopped as well as his own mom to talk with Eli’s mother and grandfather.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Teddy.” The woman's voice rang loud and crystal in his ears, it was distantly familiar but his brain clicked instantly as he turned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mrs. Norris, tall and brown haired, a large smile plastered to her face as she walked over. Waves crashed into him again as he tried to keep afloat, the realization that Greg was nowhere to be seen provided some buoyancy though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi Mrs. Norris.” He said quietly once she had stopped a few feet in front of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god! It has been forever, you look so different!” She was clearly excited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, well it has been a little while.” He said nervously, his smile slipping a little as he tried to widen it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just thought I’d say hello, we’ve missed you hanging around. Sarah will not stop asking when Teddy will come back for a tea party.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As much as he wanted to pour out all of the atrocities Greg had committed in his time at school, he had hit on almost every girl, punched more than a dozen kids, and outed his ‘friend’ he couldn’t do it. This woman had tried to raise her kid to be as kind as she was and ruining that for her had to be Greg’s job, he would let Greg be the one to disappoint her. That wasn’t his responsibility.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well tell her I said hello, we’ll have to set it up, I might have a few guests to bring next time since Greg doesn’t like tea.” He smiled as best he could in response to her wide grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Greg’s name had lost it’s spike, it felt numb on his tongue, maybe it was just dissolving pain or maybe it was just a larger reality that Greg was now his past.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She would be thrilled, I’ll talk with Greg about it. Well congratulations sweetie, you’ll do great.” She lightly patted him on the shoulder before turning to likely find her son, as long as he wasn’t trading spit with someone in some janitor closet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, she always bugged me.” His mom said over his shoulder with disdain as he turned back to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Her son isn’t any better.” He laughed, she punched him on the shoulder and smiled sympathetically up at him before tilting his cap back on straight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ready to go?” She asked, eyes glossy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You might not be but I am.” He murmured as he hugged her tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop making me cry.” She said as she pressed firmer into him, tears staining his gown.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nope.” He responded, willing his own tears from breaching the floodgates and gazing up at the school building, sun blinding him a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The dinner was a little quiet but his mom always kept the lull in conversation brief, even if she overshared a bit on the ‘stories about Teddy’ it was still fun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Goodbyes resounded among the group as they reached the subway station and parted on opposite stairwells but before he let them walk away he shoved his cap and gown into his mother's arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could feel the brief shock in Billy as his arms wrapped around him and he let out a slight surprised noise before letting go of his rigid temperament and easing into the hug, Teddy whispered a goodby quickly and left with a smile, watching Billy leave before his mom ushered him onto the escalator.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Monday afternoon had hit like a train and he felt sweat bead on his forehead and his whole body collectively make the decision that sweating might be a good idea so he stumbled slowly over to the fan, cool air hitting him square in the face and blowing his hair everywhere. He gazed over to his bedside alarm clock, two hours left until he would be under a large event tent in a park collectively celebrating that Kate had graduated. The last few days had been indescribably infuriating, the combination of not talking to Billy since they had hugged in the subway and his painting not coming out like he had wanted has driven him to madness once he realized there really was nothing he could do about either of his problems. He had also begun to overthink his gifts, which opened a whole other door in his mind but he focused on the problem at hand, which was that the only wrapping paper they had that wasn’t heavily Christmas themed said ‘Happy Birthday’. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Obviously he should have thought of this problem sooner but right now he was just struggling to wrap the paintings best he could.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kate’s painting had been surprisingly easy but the real problem came to Billy’s when he struggled to wrap it neatly and it spiraled into a crinkly bubbly mess of a present. The ‘Happy Birthday’ wrapping paper did nothing to help the mess he had in his hands but he had run out of paper to wrap it with. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was ready to throw in the towel when he had the brilliant idea of taping a large, thick piece of watercolor paper to the front of the present and hurriedly painting a ‘Happy Graduation’ on it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One hour left and Teddy had just finished cementing the dry piece of paper to the gift when he realized and rushed to his closet to find something. Kate hadn’t laid out any dress codes but he guessed since her dad was the organizer that it would all be formal wear. Grey dress pants and a pale blue shirt with white stripes had been the winning outfit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He applied a liberal amount of deodorant and the only cologne he had before fussing with his hair then worrying about whether the abundant amount of piercings lining his ears would be a little ‘much’ for a formal party. All that was left after his indecision was the small stud on his lobe and the small helix piercing near the tops of his ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked odd, a lot less metal on his ears, hair that looked thought out instead of rushed, and clothes that made him grab every piece that fit a little too snuggly for his liking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His tight grip in the pile of envelopes and wrapped canvases grew wary as he stepped out of his room into the cozy, vacant living room. Working late had never benefited him when he almost exclusively relied on his mom to nitpick his outfit or give him a pep talk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His mind felt like someone had shaken a snowglobe, flurries of thoughts and anxieties flying around all in a tight and compact space. Rationally one would think that the only real worries would be that he could stain his only khakis or that Billy wouldn’t want to talk to him since they hadn’t spoken but all rational thought had been carelessly thrown out the window. Fears of not being wanted or accepted at the party plagued him and even though he wanted to call Cassie and let out everything he tried to unwind the knots himself as he grabbed the key and locked the door on his way out, parcels still gripped extremely securely in his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His afternoon subway ride was completely occupied by fidgeting with the cuffs of his sleeves and checking for the thousandth time that the envelopes were still in the pile while he chewed on his lip and tried to maintain the sense of equilibrium between insanity and peace that he held. The small tent Kate’s family had set up in Prospect Park still awed him as he eyed the large violet helium balloons and hand lettered signs through the large conglomerate of people. His dress shoes were less than ideal for the grass and had already started a dull ache in his feet but he continued with a sigh before moving into the tent and darting his eyes around. Instantly he locked onto Cassie who was standing stagnantly near a table when he saw her and rushed over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re early.” She said as she moved her glass from her hand to the edge of the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t want to miss anything.” He replied absently as he set his pile down near her glass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Silence surrounded them as Cassie peered up at him quizzically and briefly he wondered whether he had misinterpreted what she said or at least misheard her before she opened her mouth again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s happening with you?” The question was short, sharp and accusatory but not in any way angry more, from what he could tell, sorrowful or jealous.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I-I’m sorry?” He mumbled back, incredibly confused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s happening. First you skip with Billy then you two are holding hands in the hallway during your ceremony. I know we don’t talk about everything but we still talk.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He flushed as the worry spread across his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He invited me to skip with him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, and the hands?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know honestly. I wanted to hold his hand.” Teddy took a deep breath in and the one that escaped was rigged and stiff as he collected his spilled thoughts from the floor of his brain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not good at this. Not at talking about it and definitely not telling him that I-.” He swallowed deeply, trying to suffocate the discomfort that still lingered with being himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s hard.” He settled on as he turned and scanned the tables for a drink, briefly leaving Cassie’s side to grab what appeared to be a flute of champagne. Washing it down his throat he could tell that while not watered down it was still low in any alcoholic content.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to sound mean. I just want you to talk to me. I come to you with everything and I always want to hear about you.” Cassie looked a little embarrassed but still tried to keep her cool.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know. I’m trying.” He replied with an encouraging smile as he took another drink.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, well Billy and Tommy aren’t here yet but I can show you where to put Kate’s present.” Cassie motioned to the pile and ushered him over once he gathered everything. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Early June was breezy but still humid and overbearing, every once in a while a gust blew past and saved him from the muggy air but just as quickly it would dissipate. His dress sleeves clung to his warm skin as his legs felt like they had already exhausted. He placed the painting on the large banquet table carefully and it looked utterly ridiculous surrounded by elegantly wrapped and packaged gifts and cards but still he smiled a bit at it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cassie had chatted a little with him before she ran off to talk to some parents she recognized leaving Teddy to walk around with an empty flute looking for either a replacement or a place to put his empty glass, whatever he found first honestly. Awkwardly he found the filled flute first and grabbed another as he ambled around until he found a server and questioned him before he ended up just taking the empty glass. Second glass of champagne and Teddy had found a spot in the shade to sit in a chair while he, against all sense of judgement, chugged the glass. Eli had stopped by while he was sitting and Teddy embarrassingly handed him his bag with the NYU blanket before Eli ran off again to go find Kate or Cassie, maybe both. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dude, we’re allowed to drink those?” The unmistakable voice of Tommy sounded from behind him. Teddy looked up at him and worry spread across his face as he fussed with the glass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t really know.” Teddy said anxiously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m messing with you, you okay Ted?” He asked, brows furrowed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, oh I got you a card.” Teddy whispered as he awkwardly grabbed it, only Billy’s gift remained clutched in his hands now, the wrapping even more crinkled and trashed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy took it with wide eyes and held it in his hands for a moment before smiling timidly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I open it now?” He asked hesitantly, green eyes shining as Teddy stood up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy, more careful than he had ever seen him do anything, opened the envelope and pulled out the light blue card, reading the front before opening it and smirking at the twenty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You shouldn’t have.” Tommy said kindly, it was warmer than he expected and Teddy smiled bubbly in response.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry it isn’t more, I-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dude, don’t apologize for that. Thank you.” Tommy said as he tucked the card back carefully. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The family got you a card. Billy should be over, he just had to put Kate’s gift down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, thank you.” Teddy flushed a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy walked off slowly to the tables to pick up some champagne and just like he said Billy was on his feet as well, walking over a little quicker.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi.” Billy mumbled quietly, face red from heat or a tinge of fluster ,both could be a possibility and the thought got Teddy irrationally excited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, I got you or I guess I made you something.” Teddy replied, hands clammy as he held out the gift and smiled nervously as his mouth went dry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow, I wish I could say I made something. The first one is from the Kaplan’s and the bag is mine.” Billy said as he held out his own gifts and they traded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The air was thick as Teddy stood there dumbfounded, eyes glued to the black gift bag, adorned with glittering white tissue paper and a bow, the card in an ornate gold and cream envelope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why don’t you go first.” Billy said, his voice was shaky and Teddy was tempted to stare at his deep eyes a few seconds longer before he thoughtfully tore into the card.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The card was as ornate as the envelope, gold filigree adorned the outside while dark navy letters spelled out ‘Congratulations’. He opened the card slowly and was surprised by the check which was made out for two hundred dollars, the amount made breathing harder and he looked up quickly to Billy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is really nice but I can’t.” Teddy said quietly, trying to sound as kind as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can, I was told to not allow you to return that to me in any scenario.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Billy’s smile was bright and bold as Teddy flushed and began to tuck the card back in before tucking it under his arm and turning his attention to the bag in his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sifted through paper slowly before his hands felt the soft fabric and he pulled on what he understood to be a cuffed sleeve and slowly he pulled out a heather grey sweatshirt adorned on the front with the fifties vintage style Avengers comic logo. His smile grew larger the more he looked at it and he was tempted to throw the whole thing over him in spite of the heat wave.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love it.” Teddy said breathlessly as he folded it neatly again and tucked it into its bag.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If it’s too small I can take it back, find something else.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think it’ll fit.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Billy cautiously moved his attention to his own gift once Teddy had tucked the card into the bag and placed it on his chair. Teddy’s heart leapt to his throat as Billy flipped the gift around and carefully ripped through the wrapping, on top was the card, then the watercolor and then the painting and Billy looked up at him in awe as he moved the card and looked down at the Scarlet Witch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You did this?” Billy said, a warm smile on his face. Once he was done admiring the figure he moved the sturdy watercolor paper to the side with his card and Teddy's breathing hitched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The portrait had very obvious flaws but Teddy wasn’t looking at the portrait, he was trained on Billy whose mouth was agape slightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow.” Billy marveled as he held up the canvas, pouring over the brushstrokes and bold colors swirling through his own face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I knew you were good but like wow. You’re amazing.” Billy marveled as he tried to separate his eyes from himself and Teddy timidly pulled his head down and mumbled a thank you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t know if you’d like it.” Teddy responded, wringing his hands anxiously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don't even know what to say. It’s amazing.” Billy’s splitting smile sent his heart on a rollercoaster Billy gave the painting a last once over, setting it down incredibly gently. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, my gift feels so impersonal now.” Billy frowned playfully before returning to his smirk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not at all. I need as many sweatshirts as possible, they are all I live in.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good but still I don’t think a sweatshirt compares to two amazing paintings.” Billy was quiet and timid and Teddy placed his glass down as he mulled over the next action he could take.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wanna go check out the playground?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was hoping someone would ask.” Billy laughed and followed Teddy into the grass and onto the gravel walkway leading them away from the tent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The park was quiet for the most part since it was already sevenish and the sun had only started to set as they walked gingerly through the winding paths and trees. Golden light and the forming shadows only added to the haze that Teddy was feeling, and it only picked up when their hands grazed every so often. A few more turnarounds and whispered confusions before they arrived at what was likely the worst maintained playground in the park. An odd jungle gym, rusted swing set, and wooden bench awaited them in the completely deforested clearing. Teddy took the swing that appeared to be the highest off the ground and Billy accompanied him in the one adjacent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Absently the both swung and moved their legs lazily, admittedly the khakis were uncomfortable to swing in but he continued as they both sat quietly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What was the holding hands on Friday?” Billy questioned, hands gripping the chains of his swing as he looked over at Teddy with what Teddy could only see as fear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Teddy didn't answer, only looked down at his dress shoes as they tore through the wood chips beneath him and his hace flushed slightly. Pulse picked up and he swallowed hard as he opened his mouth to speak but his throat constricted as it tried to utter words that weren’t even there. His eyes fell everywhere, the far off trees, the other swings, anything that took him away from Billy and the silence of the moment that he wanted to run away from and grab desperately simultaneously. Billy stood up slowly and looked over at him, eyes cut deeply as they stared. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was moving away, further from Teddy and the haze of the moment was leaving, the warm amazement of the utter beauty of Billy was walking away as he sat and let him pass. Teddy hopped out of his seat and grabbed Billy by his hand, the wrist would have been far too friendly and this was the moment Teddy was done being ‘friendly’. Billy’s hand was exactly as he had remembered it, only somehow a little softer wand cooler as he gripped it tightly but not constrictingly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Billy’s brown eyes met his own desperate, glossy ones as Teddy fought the strong urge to cry a bit as all his emotions were shoved roughly into overdrive. Teddy was getting lost when Billy carefully removed his hands and moved to stand comfortably, inches from Teddy. The light passed around Billy, it had grown more blue and pink and framed his dark hair and pale complexion alluringly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then Billy moved the hand that had been in Teddy’s to the back of his head Teddy shivered under the touch as it grazed the buzzed back of his blonde hair. Teddy’s eyes widened in shock and he let out an embarrassing gasp as everything stood still, then Billy pulled his head down easily. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Teddy tilted his head and closed his eyes lightly as Billy’s lips impacted his, the contact was overwhelming. Billy’s lips were even softer than he had ever dreamt of in any amazing fantasy he had created. Teddy had never kissed anyone before so it was idiotic to say that he thought this was the best it would ever be but he couldn’t think of any more impactful statement. Billy’s lips tasted of champagne and vanilla and Teddy didn’t ever want to leave them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They parted sooner than Teddy would ever wish for and as Billy’s hand fell to his shoulder he smiled unashamedly as Billy opened his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I like you.” Teddy let out, his voice was raw and warm but as soft as he could manage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guessed when we were dancing in that parking lot.” Billy let out a harsh laugh, eyes were completely let loose as they matched Teddy’s unwavering stare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought I was more sly.” Teddy laughed just as Billy had and he gripped his shoulder carefully, feeling the cotton wrinkle in his hands. He finally got to feel who Billy was, admire him the closest and most detailed he had ever been allowed to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I wasn’t sure.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I should’ve been sooner then.” Teddy sighed wistfully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then we could’ve gotten in more kissing.” Billy smirked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We can make up for it.” Teddy whispered anxiously as Billy’s grin split to a smile and he leaned into Teddy again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Sunset Smooches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All things considered Teddy Altman claimed senior year as his best year of high school all <br/>thanks to his newfound little, true group of friends and his growing bond with Billy Kaplan. It was only the beginning of July, but everything had happened in a rush that had made his heart skip wildly. The odd feeling of telling his mom that he had kissed Billy Kaplan, and ‘yes they were in a relationship’. </p>
<p>The day after Kate’s party had brought along a sense of freedom and carelessness he’d never really been comfortable having with her, it was nice, apart from another run down of the sex talk and a tangent about how she didn’t want her son to die from an STI.</p>
<p>Of course that carelessness only extended to telling her he was going on a date or Billy was coming over, that was all he needed. All the thoughts of how good Billy’s lips felt on his, how nice it was to just hug him, and how charming he really was, all those thoughts were just for him and he liked it that way.</p>
<p>Mary-Jo Altman had once again cemented her position as ‘cool mom’ when she saw Billy a few days after they had started dating and immediately pretended like he was another son. Billy’s parents had done basically the same, but they were more stilted and serious about their relationship. Either way Teddy had been with Billy a whole month and it urgently had sunk in that it felt like a few years already, sure they hadn’t done anything but kiss and cuddle but that was all Teddy wanted, for now at least, he was very happy taking small steps at the moment. It was still incredible just to make Billy laugh at some awful joke or to envelope him in a tight hug that he couldn’t escape from until they both spiraled into giggles and ended up on the floor as Billy tickled him. </p>
<p>It was still of course odd to feel himself be so unabashed and proud of feelings he had spent years turning off and shutting down but the insane contentment that came along with every feeling outweighed most of the negative self-hatred. Odd as it was to still feel some hatred for the fact that he liked men in general, more specifically Billy, he had reached a point where he realized he would never want it any other way. Nights spent nervously and angrily wishing to change himself to ‘fit in’ or be ‘normal’ were all past now and he understood why he wanted to stay exactly how it was, it made him the happiest he’d ever felt.</p>
<p>Maybe it took experiencing your imaginations and wants to truly accept them or maybe he was just happy that he had so much to be so happy about.</p>
<p>Either way the bubbling joy still hadn’t dissipated even as he began to pull his bag onto his shoulder, though Kate had wanted their stargazing party to start later she pushed it forward to give them all a chance to catch up a bit. It was a busy month for everyone.</p>
<p>Truly it was less of a party and more of ‘let’s hang out on Kate’s balcony’ but either way Teddy welcomed any chance to spend time with them all, even though he knew half the night would be spent gazing at Billy’s pale figure in the moonlight.</p>
<p>“I’ll be back tomorrow.” He smiled enthusiastically as he shut the door to his room.</p>
<p>“Well, I love you and tell Billy I miss him.” His mother said warmly as he slipped his shoes on.</p>
<p>“You saw him two days ago.” </p>
<p>“Hey, I can’t help it if he’s the only one who listens to me.” </p>
<p>That is a dirty lie.” He laughed lightly, grabbing the keys.</p>
<p>“Agree to disagree. I love you baby!” He had shut the door and rolled his eyes as her voice penetrated the wall giving a final farewell.</p>
<p>The buzz in his pocket startled him as he lazily pressed the elevator button and rifled through his shorts to find his phone.</p>
<p>“Are you almost here?” </p>
<p>It was Cassie, she pulled out the syllables, boredom resonating clearly.</p>
<p>“Kate said 7:30, I'll be there in fifteen if I’m lucky.” </p>
<p>“I got here early, her and Eli are setting up snacks, I feel like a third wheel.”</p>
<p>“You realize you’d also be my third wheel?” He smiled at an older resident as he held the elevator door open for her before he stepped out. </p>
<p>“Of, course but at least you pay attention to me when Billy’s around.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be as quick as I can Cass.”</p>
<p>“Okay, love you Teddy bear.”</p>
<p>A groan came from the other ends as Cassie hung up and he grimaced a little as he sped down the street, rushing to the subway entrance which was only another turn away.</p>
<p>He bumped into a figure as he rounded the corner, a little shorter than him but still just as strong and they both reeled back and rubbed their heads, Teddy shut his eyes in brief pan as he struggled to regain footing.</p>
<p>It was like some sadistic romcom, he opened his eyes to find an equally shocked Greg in front of him. Greg looked as perfectly douchebag as he remembered, if not more so. Oddly enough his face hadn’t contorted into some manner of disgust, he just kind of went blank as Teddy felt a frown form.</p>
<p>“Sorry about bumping into you.” Teddy mumbled and moved his hands awkwardly to his short pockets.</p>
<p>“It’s okay.” Greg said as quietly as Teddy had mumbled his words.</p>
<p>They both regained their footing and Teddy stood cautiously only feet away from him.</p>
<p>“So uh, you and Kaplan?” Greg mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck.</p>
<p>Disgust bubbled in Teddy’s stomach and subsided calmly as he regained control of himself. He mimicked the bland expression Greg held and moved around him to leave him answerless on the corner, a little of bittersweet revenge. His wrist was jarringly clamped down on lightly by Greg’s hand, unfamiliar and nothing like the hand he wanted on his own, he glared at it and yanked his arm away.</p>
<p>Teddy gave him a last look and walked off, not the rage filled yelling he had desperately wanted, he silently chose some awkward form of diplomacy over heated fiery anger. </p>
<p>The oddity of it all was still poking at his brain as he recapped it all for Cass as he handed her the plastic cups buried deep in the back of one of Kate’s kitchen cupboards. </p>
<p>“I’m surprised you didn’t get angry. I mean you’re Teddy so you never would but I would have.” She responded as he stepped down from the kitchen stool they had retrieved to give him extra height.</p>
<p>“I’m more surprised I didn’t freeze up.”</p>
<p>“I’m not, I think everything ended up helping a lot. Like you literally never have to think about him except for weird freaky coincidences.” She had grabbed a sharpie and was elegantly signing her name on the red solo cup.</p>
<p>“I guess maybe I’m just more comfortable in my skin.” He pondered before she handed over the marker.</p>
<p>“Well, that’ll help with being an artist. Hopefully.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so but good try.” He said and she rolled her eyes as they moved to the main room.</p>
<p>The whole party was muddled by what he could’ve done or how he could have avoided the entire situation by leaving later or earlier. There was also the problem of clouds that wouldn’t leave and growing light pollution as the sun had started to set, everyone in New York decided to turn their lights on and Kate had given up before the stars were even supposed to come out. It had all ended with the gang watching television and plating a highly competitive game of monopoly while him and Billy sat next to each other in Kate’s lavish outdoor chairs.</p>
<p>“This would be so much better with some blankets, I wish it wasn’t eighty degrees.” Billy sighed as he took another sip from the lemonade Teddy poured for them earlier.</p>
<p>“Isn’t my hoodie comfortable enough.” Teddy laughed, reaching over to tug on the string and tease Billy for stealing a good hoodie.</p>
<p>“Hey, I told you, any shirt from my closet is yours.” Billy defended, a handsome grin on his face.</p>
<p>“Please tell me how I can fit into a small sized Abercrombie shirt.”</p>
<p>“You could.” Billy chuckled as he pulled his legs to his chest.</p>
<p>The comfortable silence fell again as they watched the new shade of pink cover the expanse of clouds above them, the skyscrapers only blocking a little. That comfortable feeling of warmth and the butterflies fluttering in his chest filled him up again as he looked from the sky to Billy before carefully and slowly moving his hand over to Billy's own. The sleeves of his sweatshirt were bunched up around Billy's elbows and he smiled absently as he looked down and let Teddy clasp their hands again.</p>
<p>The sunset calmly turned to a light blue complimenting the messy black hair as he tried to pull away and appreciate the little atmosphere New York had to offer. </p>
<p>“Is it bad that I really want to punch Greg.” Teddy said quietly, his gaze was still fixed on the horizon as he felt Billy clasp his hand a little tighter.</p>
<p>“I still want to sock Kessler so not at all. You’re kinder than me though so if you still want to punch him it must be bad.” Billy said, smiling at him.</p>
<p>“I’m just mad. He just made it so hard to be okay with me.”</p>
<p>“You think I’m comfortable with this?” Billy asked a tinge of sarcasm in his voice as he lightly held up their intertwined hands.</p>
<p>“Eli and Kate, Tommy and all the girls who swoon for him get to kiss each other and hold hands and hug. Even when we’re alone I still get the feeling that I’m doing something wrong. I guess you just must remember that I like you and you like me and that’s all that really matters when we do anything. Know what I mean?” Billy asked as he scooted closer to Teddy.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know what you mean. I hope you never feel that way though.” Teddy frowned slightly as he gazed at their hands.</p>
<p>“I will and there will always be days when you want to punch an asshole square in the face.” Billy paused as he placed his head on Teddy’s shoulder and let out a sigh, the blue glow was rapidly disappearing into the dusk as wispy clouds started to darken with oncoming twilight.</p>
<p>“I know I sound like my mom but whenever it feels that way I just take a deep breath and remember that it’s me and you when we do anything together. I only want to care about you when we’re together.” Billy let go of his hand and gripped his arm softly.</p>
<p>“Corny.” Teddy whispered as his other arm reached to stroke the top of Billy’s hair.</p>
<p>Billy chuckled and moved his free hand to Teddy’s face to give it a light pat.</p>
<p>“Is it too soon to say I love you?”  Billy’s voice wavered with raw uncertainty and Teddy’s heart beat ten times as fast as Billy lightened the grip on his arm, as if he was ready to pull away if Teddy said yes.</p>
<p>“I love you.” Teddy whispered as he moved down to kiss Billy’s head lightly. </p>
<p>In response Billy pulled a sheepish smile and propped himself up for a real kiss. Teddy met his lips and it felt like a first kiss all over as the stars twinkled above them. They parted and Teddy felt like swooning all over and taking every moment to look into Billy’s hazel eyes.</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey! Thank you for reading the entirety of Summers Evenings! I hope you enjoyed it all and I can not wait to release my next fic!!!</p>
<p>If you want to talk Young Avengers or BillyTeddy I'd love to hear from you on tumblr (billykaplan-666)</p>
<p>THANK YOU FOR READING!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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